No, you should not. Your role is to be something different than their police officer, parent, or guard rail. They need someone who understands addiction; someone who has been there and is working recovery. It is also beneficial if the encourager/accountability partner is the same gender.
Your job is your recovery. You cannot Recover for someone else. Pestering or pressuring someone to Recover will not work. Cooperation and teamwork are valuable because they give responsibility to all parties involved. For your personal recovery, focus on your vocations. Be the family member, church member, and member of society that God made you […]
This depends on you. You have 4 options: Do nothing, know nothing and go on as if life is just fine. (It won’t stay that way.) Know every detail of everything. This can be dangerous because detail can get in the way of forgiveness. Know the “types” of things your partner has done. Know the […]
Porn and sex addiction take place when a person has taken him/herself out of the context of right and wrong, losing control and the power of choice. It includes lust, in any form, and sex in any form, including sex with oneself.
Any porn use is too much. Porn always leads to exploration down dangerous avenues. Even if a person were able to avoid becoming addicted, watching porn leaves marriage behind and replaces it with lusting after another in his heart and mind. Anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery in his heart. […]
In a case like this, addiction has likely replaced relationship. Porn’s advantage (and lie) is that it is always new and different. Your addicted spouse needs to admit that they are addicted before any progress can be made.
First of all, even when it feels like you are, you are never alone – Christ is always with you. He promises to never leave or forsake you. Next, find a counselor to talk with, preferably one who is familiar with sex/porn addiction. Use the internet to find one (Conquerors through Christ has a list […]
You did nothing wrong. You probably were a good wife. It is an addiction, not a response. He was looking for the feeling he gets from the pursuit and the guilty pleasure. He is always looking for another fix, another high, just like a drug addict. As long as he is in the addiction, no […]
You don’t need to compete. Remember that addiction is not the same as reality. This addiction has less to do with you, who you are, what you look like, or what you’re willing to do and more to do with an activity that leads to a feeling – the pursuit of guilty pleasure. Addicts always […]
Let’s broaden the concept: if this addiction were alcohol, gambling, or drugs and you hadn’t known until now, would you also feel your marriage was a lie? Addiction controls addicts – they build up a tolerance and dive in further so they can feel satisfied again. Can an addict still love and feel love for […]