MINISTRY LEADERS
Called worker and student resources
Really, all the Conquerors through Christ CtC resources are intended to be tools for ministry. They are presented here in a comprehensive list organized according to our Resist, Reject, and Recover categories.
Resources to help you assist your members or students
Resist the temptation to use pornography
Our Parent Support System equips you, not for “the talk”, but for an ongoing conversation from age 2 to 12 about God’s design for our bodies and, at the appropriate age, sex.
Our Middle School Lessons help you, or your child’s instructor, to go beyond “don’t lust” to learning to enjoy the blessings of gospel-driven self-control.
Our High School Curriculum can be used by your teen’s teacher or youth group leader to have positive discussions during this critical tine in their lives,
Resources to help you assist your members or students
Reject Satan’s lies and escape from the addictive sin of pornography use
(For pastors)
(Videos)
(Create Priceless Conversations about Sex & Sin: Bought at a Price Bible Study)
(In Christian Community)
(How we get in and out)
(Ratings and reviews)
Resources to help you assist your members or students
Recover from the wreckage caused by someone else’s porn use
Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counselors there is safety.
Proverbs 11:14
“Porn is our struggle, our fight, our concern—because porn is affecting us”.
— Mike Novotny
Other Resources
On a very basic level, forgiveness is the answer. Keeping a record of wrongs, throwing his sin in his face, punishing him with a lack of love/respect because of his sin will quickly detonate any hope you have a beautiful, God-exalting relationship. “Forgive one another just as in Christ God forgave you.” (Eph. 4:32) On a deeper level, you probably need the help of a mature Christian friend, a qualified counselor, and/or a pastor who loves you both and can guide you with God’s Word.
Porn kills. Porn is killing your intimacy, your trust, and your joy in being with your husband sexually. Is your husband sorry for his sin? Is he battling porn? Is he a struggling sinner or is he accepting this intimacy-murdering sin as something normal for guys to do? Is he kind and compassionate to you or is he defensive and demanding sexually?
Let’s assume that your husband is crushed by his sin and is generally loving towards you. If he’s not, I might recommend a different approach, so please read the following with that assumption in mind.
First, you would be surprised how men and women view porn differently. Lust and love are two different things, though women tend to view them as the same. A male porn addict is typically not in love – marital love – with the object of his lust. At the same time, men fail to realize that their lustful addiction makes women question their beauty and worth.
Second, it is vital for you to understand your own place in this situation. Try not to speak to him from a place of “perfection,” but with the compassionate heart of a person who understands how valuable forgiveness is.
Finally, and this is the hardest point to address, punishing your husband by denying him godly intimacy is rarely wise because it is one-sided – it is not adding to your relationship. This doesn’t mean you have to keep being intimate, though. Sitting down with him, talking through a resolution, and setting aside a time of no sex can have value, but it should be mutual – the two of you are together in this battle. (If there are other issues of coercion, abuse, pressure, etc. in your marriage, please seek immediate help/professional counseling.) 1 Corinthians 7 reminds us that serving each other sexually helps protect our spouses from sexual sin. Your husband must relearn what it means to pursue you and take care of you in an intimate context. You can help him avoid the temptation to pursue sexual gratification from porn by being clear and honest about your sexual desires and by caring for his.
If you mean fantasizing (dreaming) about engaging in sex with someone you’re not married to, then those thoughts would dishonor marriage and God (Hebrews 13:4). This is not who God made you to be. God calls all people to believe in his Son as their Savior. When the Holy Spirit creates that saving faith in your heart, you become a temple of the Holy Spirit, which will compel you to honor God with their whole being—mind, soul and body. So yes, it is sin – but it is also a sin Jesus paid the price to forgive.
