MINISTRY LEADERS

Called worker and student resources

Really, all the Conquerors through Christ CtC resources are intended to be tools for ministry.  They are presented here in a comprehensive list organized according to our Resist, Reject, and Recover categories.

Resources to help you assist your members or students

Resist the temptation to use pornography

mother daughter

Our Parent Support System equips you, not for “the talk”, but for an ongoing conversation from age 2 to 12 about God’s design for our bodies and, at the appropriate age, sex.

catechism

Our Middle School Lessons help you, or your child’s instructor, to go beyond “don’t lust” to learning to enjoy the blessings of gospel-driven self-control.

highschool

Our High School Curriculum can be used by your teen’s teacher or youth group leader to have positive discussions during this critical tine in their lives,

Resources to help you assist your members or students

Reject Satan’s lies and escape from the addictive sin of pornography use

training-camp

(For pastors)

Bought with a price

(Create Priceless Conversations about Sex & Sin: Bought at a Price Bible Study)

friends

(In Christian Community)

Getting Caught in the Cycle of Sin

(How we get in and out)

Family or Friend

(Ratings and reviews)

Resources to help you assist your members or students

Recover from the wreckage caused by someone else’s porn use

Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counselors there is safety.
Proverbs 11:14

“Porn is our struggle, our fight, our concern—because porn is affecting us”.
— Mike Novotny

Other Resources

First of all, we are so sorry for your pain. And no, this is not your fault. What your husband has been doing is wrong, but you did not cause him to sin. We are all responsible for our own actions.

Because of the deep emotional wound this sin causes, you will likely need spiritual and professional help (pastor, Christian counselor) overcoming your hurt. Similarly, your husband will need help overcoming his sin.  If your husband is willing to get the help he needs, praise God.  Encourage him to follow through. Though it may seem impossible at the moment, at some point, we pray by God’s grace you can forgive your husband and be part of the help he needs.  Your support and loving accountability can play key roles is his eventual victory over this sin.

If your husband out of fear or denial is not ready to get help, pray for him.  Show him this web site.  Seek help for yourself and request the prayers of your pastor or Christian counselor for him.

This is a hard one. Be as open and fair as possible, and work to make a judgment based on analysis of all actions. Is there a change? Has help been sought? Is there a sponsor of some kind? These resources encourage honesty.

I am sorry for the heart-breaking news you received from your boyfriend. It is never easy to hear that someone you like “likes” to look at other women in a sexual way.

Let me offer one comment to your statement and two answers to your questions:

Comment:
Your boyfriend says he likes to look at porn. Does that mean he is admitting/confessing that his sinful nature is drawn to it (like hundreds of millions/billions of people)? Or does that he mean he likes it and plans to keep looking at it with no regard for you, for God, or for the clear passages of Scripture about porn (Eph. 5, 1 Cor. 6, Mt. 5, etc.)?

My answer to your questions is nearly entirely based on his attitude towards his sin.

Answer #1: 
Will he stop when you get married? I don’t know. We at CtC know conquering habitual porn use is not easy, but it is possible. With a constant reliance on God’s love for sexual sinners and a constant willingness to confess sexual sin to others (friends, pastors, counselors, significant others, etc.), there is incredible hope that porn will become part of his past.

But make no mistake–Getting married, having sex, etc. will not “cure” his problem. Sin is stubborn and porn will not go down without a fight. (That’s why I mentioned above that his desire to fight this sin is so crucial.)

Answer #2:
What if he doesn’t stop? If he has no plans to stop, I would caution you against marrying him. A man who vows to love you but plans to despise you through his porn use knows nothing about Christian love and will break your heart with his digital harem.

If, however, he hates his sin, loves Jesus, and wants to love you with pure eyes and a sexuality that belongs only to your marriage, then the choice is up to you. You have idols, too, and he has to wrestle with the same question–Is he ready to love someone who will sin against him? Are you ready to walk with him on this long journey that leads to heaven, even if it means he battles porn for years, if not decades of your marriage?

I can’t tell you what to do (nor is that my place). I can, however, tell you that a man who loves God, hates sin, and wants to go to war against porn is a great man with a great Spirit within him. Those are the ones you might not want to let go of.

If CtC Resources assist you in your efforts to Resist, Reject, or Recover from porn use, please help us continue to create them.  Your gift would be a tremendous blessing to our ministry.