Articles – Conquerors Through Christ

You Don’t Have To Quit Porn Forever

“I know I can be good for a few days….but then…”

It wasn’t the first time I heard it. The man sitting in my office was confessing his struggle with pornography and was lamenting the fact that though he had tried to fight against the temptations in the past, he could never stay consistent.

All it took was a night alone, a fight with his girlfriend, a long day at work, the right combination of substances, and his 3- or 7- or 12-day streak was back to a 0-day streak.

For him, the problem wasn’t the beginning, it was the challenges that would inevitably come. What struck me this time though was how his fear of future failure was paralyzing his ability to get up off the mat and fight again today. Can you blame him?

How many of you athletes would play a game with all your effort if you knew you were going to lose?

How many of you artists would produce something if you knew others would hate it?

How many of you pastors could get up in the pulpit again if every Sunday for months on end, the people in your pews said, “That wasn’t that great of a sermon, pastor?”

Persistent Struggle

I wonder if you’ve ever felt like that man. Not just with pornography, but with any persistent struggle. You look at the distance between who you are and who you want to be and the gap feels impossibly large. You don’t think about today. You think about the next year, the next decade, the rest of your life. And suddenly today’s battle feels unwinnable because you’re trying to carry thirty years of temptations all at once

But that is not how Christians fight against pornography. Christians fight with the gospel of Jesus’ death and resurrection at the center.

“Where sin increased, grace increased all the more” – Romans 5:20

Consider…. If you fell into temptation every single day for the rest of your life, but in contrition continued to repent and try again, would you be saved? Say it with me… Yes! “Where sin increased, grace increased all the more,” Paul says! And if you quit porn tomorrow and never watched again, would that qualify you for VIP seats in heaven? Say it with me… No!

Justified by faith in Jesus

You’re justified by faith in the death and resurrection of Jesus. But when we define ourselves by our expected or realized failures, we subtly undermine that truth. We subtly say that I can think of myself as a good person if I beat this (or a failure if I don’t beat it this side of heaven). But that is not your story.

Whether or not you win the battle against temptation tomorrow is secondary. It’s not unimportant, but it’s secondary. You’re forgiven, baptized, and promised a sin-free eternity. That’s most important, and it changes everything. Whether you do or do not sin tomorrow (…and let’s be honest, just because you don’t watch porn doesn’t mean you’re sin-free) doesn’t change who you are in Jesus!

Brining us back to the present moment

That means you can dispense with worrying about tomorrow or next Friday or 2028. Jesus tells us that those days will worry about themselves. (Matthew 6:34) And once you start looking for it, you see that the language of “Today” is all over the Bible.

In Hebrews, God says, “Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts” (Hebrews 4:7). Salvation is received today. Repentance happens today. Faith listens to God’s voice today.

A chapter earlier, believers are urged to “encourage one another daily, as long as it is called ‘Today‘” (Hebrews 3:13), because the Christian life is lived one day at a time.

Jesus speaks the same way when he calls his followers to “take up their cross daily“ (Luke 9:23).

Notice what Scripture does not say. It does not tell us to carry tomorrow’s cross today or to solve every future temptation today. Instead, God repeatedly brings us back to the present moment. Hear his voice today. Trust his promises today. Take up your cross today. The Christian life is not won by successfully imagining the next ten years. It is lived in faithful dependence upon Christ one day at a time.

God will fight with you daily.

And God will fight with you daily. When Israel wandered in the wilderness, God did not give them forty years of manna all at once. He gave them enough for that day. Tomorrow’s provision would arrive tomorrow. When Jesus taught his disciples to pray, he taught them to ask for “daily bread.” Not yearly bread. Not lifetime bread. Daily bread.

So, perhaps the key to fighting porn is not to quit porn forever, but to quit porn today. And maybe you won’t. That’s not OK. But it is forgiven. His mercies are new every morning. So fight today. Today is what God has given you to control. And don’t worry about forever. Jesus has already taken care of that.

Jonny Lehmann is an editor of the CtC newsletter. He, his wife Abbie, and three children live in West Palm Beach, Florida, where he serves as lead pastor at Divine Savior Church.

Stop Fighting Porn

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What if I told you that one of the best ways to beat porn is to fight a different battle?

In 1996, a raw talent burst into the NBA right out of high school. Kobe Bryant was touted as a generational talent. Of course, today, we know that turned out to be true, but back in 1996, coaches noticed something that could have derailed the one who was so well known for his last-second killer instinct that he was called “Black Mamba.”

Early in his career, in crunch time, at the end of games, when his body was tired, Kobe defaulted to dribbling with his right hand. While such a tendency doesn’t make much difference in high school, at the NBA level, any tendency is liable to be exploited by video coaches. Kobe became predictable in the final moments of games. Today, we associate Kobe with last-second game-winners. But early in his career, he was a liability when the clock was ticking down.

So, Kobe, with his signature determination, was not going to let this stop him. He dedicated himself to becoming ambidextrous, just as confident with his left hand as with his right. He went about it in normal ways…dribbling drills with the left hand, layups with his left hand, and so on. But in typical Kobe fashion, that wasn’t enough. Kobe started doing everything with his left hand. He brushed his teeth, ate his food, opened doors, and got dressed using his left hand. He knew that even the most non-basketball motions done with his left hand would prepare his mind to be comfortable on the court when it mattered most.

When it matters, be ready!

If you are reading this at the time it is published, it is Lent for the Christian Church. One of the common practices of this season is to fast. Christians have done this for centuries…for the exact same reason Kobe brushed his teeth with his left hand.

See, Kobe did things the correct way when it didn’t matter, so that when it did matter, he was ready. Christians have done the same. Fasting from food (or other substances or behaviours) is practicing doing the right thing when it doesn’t matter so you will be ready when it does matter. See, if you fast from food, and an Apple Fritter gets the better of you (as it would to any red-blooded human), you have not sinned. But the practice of saying no to that beautiful, soft, sweet Fritter is the same muscle that you use to not turn on Incognito Mode.

My suggestion to you is that the way to beat porn is to stop trying to beat porn. How do many of us fight that fight? Like we’re Kobe with 3 seconds on the clock. It’s 11:47pm. Your wife is in bed. Your phone is in your hand. You’re tired and stressed from the day. Hear this with the pun intended… You’re going to go to your right hand.

But what if you have practiced saying no to doughnuts, your morning dark roast, an IPA, or exchanged your hot morning shower for a cold one? Could you strengthen the muscle to say no?

Saying “no” doesn’t come from willpower, but routine.

Scripture supports this. Paul tells us that “[The grace of God] teaches us to say ‘no’ to ungodly and worldly passions.” (Titus 2:12) This doesn’t happen overnight. Teaching takes time and practice. Saying “no” doesn’t come from willpower, but routine.

Jesus did this. If your church reads from the lectionary, the first Sunday in Lent is the account of Jesus’ temptation in the wilderness. Before Satan comes to Jesus, what does Jesus do? He spends 40 days fasting. Why? Because he was preparing. When Satan came with his temptations, Jesus responded with the same ease of Kobe knocking down a free throw. He was ready. He didn’t ask the angels to role-play with him. He didn’t make sure there were no stones around so he wouldn’t be tempted to make bread. He just got ready.

Maybe by the time you read this, it’s too late to start a Lenten fast. But it’s not too late to start fighting porn a different way. What if you put practices in place in your life to say “no” so that when crunch time comes, you’re ready? What if it was no alcohol for a month? What if it was that the phone goes off after dinner? What if you took cold showers? What if you woke up at the same time every day, no matter how long you stayed up the night before. What if you didn’t turn a podcast or the sports radio show on in the car, but you sat in silence and prayed?

If you fail at any of those, you have not sinned. But if you succeed, you prepare for those moments when it matters.

Caleb Schultz is a pastor in the Greater Toronto Area, where he lives with his wife and four kids. He is the Content Editor for Conquerors through Christ.

When Boredom Feels Like a Threat…

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When Boredom Feels Like a Threat…life becomes a never-ending stimulus cycle which exhausts, frustrates, and even shames.

Have you been there?

Those moments when everything is fine on the outside and restless on the inside. No crisis. No tragedy. No emergency. Just a quiet stretch of time, and yet my hand still drifts toward my phone like it has a mind of its own. Not because I need information. Not because I need connection…

Just because there is space.

And somewhere along the way, my heart learned to believe that space is dangerous. That realization on its own has been humbling for me. Because it means my struggle is not simply about morality. It is about formation. It is about what my habits have trained my heart to expect from the world and from God.

Avoiding the quiet

For many of us, porn and sexual sin enter precisely there. Not when desire is raging, but when boredom feels unbearable. When stimulation feels like survival. When the absence of noise feels like something is wrong with us. Porn becomes a tool. A regulator. A way to manage the quiet without ever having to listen to it, and the more honest I am, the more I realize this is not a niche struggle…this is the water we are swimming in.

Psychologists have been sounding alarms for years now about how constant digital stimulation reshapes the human brain. Dopamine is often described as the pleasure chemical, but that is not quite accurate. Dopamine is released most powerfully in anticipation, not fulfillment. It fires when your brain thinks something rewarding might be coming. Scroll. Click. Refresh. Repeat. Something new could be waiting. That anticipation loop is addictive precisely because it never resolves.

Over time, this does something profound to us. It lowers our tolerance for stillness. It makes quiet feel threatening. It makes boredom feel like failure.

Understanding the struggle of boredom

One well-documented study, you may have heard of (don’t Google AI it yet!) asked participants to sit alone in a room for fifteen minutes with no stimulation. No phone. No book. No music. Just their thoughts. Many participants chose to administer mild electric shocks to themselves rather than remain alone with their own minds. That is not because humans are simply masochists. It is because we have been trained to associate stimulation with safety.

So when boredom shows up, your nervous system reacts, your body tightens, your mind looks for an exit, and your soul reaches for anything that promises relief. Porn, with its endless novelty and intensity (especially as we foray into the “Age of AI”), becomes one of the fastest exits available.

This is why telling people to “just stop” has never worked.

The struggle is not merely behavioral. It is neurological. Emotional. Spiritual. It is about how we have learned to cope with being human in a world that never stops offering us anesthetic.

“How long, O Lord?”

And Scripture, remarkably, speaks directly into this. The Bible does not assume a constantly stimulated people; rather, the Word assumes a waiting people. A longing people. A restless people learning how to live with unmet desire. The Psalms are full of ache. Full of delay. Full of questions that are not answered quickly. “How long, O Lord?” is not a rhetorical flourish. It is the prayer of someone who has learned to stay present when relief does not come on demand.

“My soul thirsts for God” is not the language of instant gratification. It is the language of hunger endured. Have we, as Christians, forgotten how countercultural this is? The Bible consistently treats waiting not as punishment, but as maturation. “Those who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength.” That renewal does not happen by accident. It happens because waiting retrains the heart. It slowly loosens the grip of demand and teaches trust instead. Porn short-circuits that process.

Porn promises renewal without waiting. Satisfaction without covenant. Intimacy without vulnerability. Control without cost. And every time we reach for it, our hearts learn the same lesson again: Do not wait. Do not trust. Do not endure. Escape.

God offers a better story

But here is the mercy of God: He does not just expose the lie. He offers a better story. Again and again, Scripture calls us to look, notice, and behold. “Consider the lilies.” “Look at the birds of the air.” “The heavens declare the glory of God.” “See what kind of love the Father has lavished on us.” This is not poetic filler. This is an invitation to Recover wonder.

Wonder, however, requires slowness. It requires attention. It requires the courage to stay present long enough for meaning to surface. Porn trains us to consume without wonder. To move on without noticing. To treat bodies, stories, and even our own souls as content.

Resisting porn, then, is not only about saying no to something harmful. It is about saying yes to a way of being human again. Psychologically, this is deeply grounded. Practices that slow the nervous system—silence, walking, prayer, reading, and yes, even boredom itself—increase emotional regulation and reduce compulsive behavior.

When the brain learns that stillness is survivable, urges lose some of their urgency. The need for immediate relief weakens.

Unshockingly, to those who know the One who designed the brain, Scripture calls this self-control. Psychology calls it delayed gratification. Both are describing the same reality from different angles. You are learning to say, “I do not need to obey every impulse to be okay.” That is not repression. That is freedom.

And this is where I have had to repent. Too often, I treat boredom like an enemy instead of a teacher. I rush to fill it before it has a chance to reveal anything. I numb it before it has time to speak. But boredom often exposes something life-altering. It exposes my limits. It exposes my longing. It exposes my fear of being alone with God when there is nothing to distract me. When I finally sit with it, I notice how quickly my thoughts scatter. How uncomfortable silence feels. How much I want to be entertained rather than transformed.

“Be still, and know that I am God.”

And yet, this is exactly where God meets us. “Be still, and know that I am God.” That command is not cruel. It is the definition of kindness in a restless modern world that has lost the ability to wonder. It is God interrupting our frantic attempts at self-management and saying, “Let me be God here.” Stillness does not mean nothing is happening. It means something deeper finally has room to happen.

This is where wonder slowly returns.

Not as fireworks. Not as emotional highs. But as quiet recognition. The warmth of sunlight through a window. The sound of a child laughing in another room. The weight of Scripture in your hands. The ache you have been avoiding that finally comes into focus. Wonder is not excitement. Wonder is presence. And presence is something our age is starving for.

The more we Resist immediate stimuli, the more our capacity for joy expands. That joy becomes slower, deeper, and more durable. It does not disappear the moment the screen goes dark. This does not mean the struggle disappears per se, but the struggle does change.

Temptation still comes. Urges still arise. But they are no longer the loudest voice in the room. They become invitations to ask better questions: What am I really longing for right now? What am I trying to escape? What would it look like to bring this ache into the light instead of anesthetizing it?

And here is where the gospel matters most. Jesus did not escape discomfort. He entered it. He resisted the quick kingdoms offered to him, choosing waiting and suffering instead. He trusted the Father through silence and delay. He knows what it is to be human without anesthesia.

Which means when you are bored, restless, tempted, and tired, you are not meeting God at the edge of his patience. You are meeting him at the center of his compassion. He meets you before the click. Before the spiral. Before the shame. He does not just forgive failure. He restores humanity.

So Resist, yes—but Resist wisely. Resist the lie that boredom is meaningless. Resist the story that stillness is unsafe. Resist the voice that says stimulation is salvation.

Let yourself be bored for a moment. Sit with the discomfort without obeying it. Take a walk without filling the silence. Open the Psalms and pray someone else’s words when your own feel thin. Reach out to someone instead of disappearing into a screen. And when the urge says, “This feeling is unbearable,” answer it with the truth: This is not unbearable. This is the ache of being human in a broken world. And God is not absent here. He is forming you. He is retraining your heart. He is teaching you how to wonder again—and leading you to the wonder of wonders: the cross and the empty tomb.

Jonny Lehmann is an editor of the CtC newsletter. He, his wife Abbie, and three children live in West Palm Beach, Florida, where he serves as lead pastor at Divine Savior Church.

Hiding Your Story Is Holding You Back

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I used to believe that strength meant silence. Not because I thought I had it all together—but because I didn’t.

Maybe you’ve felt that too. Maybe you’ve felt like your sin—especially sexual sin—is what disqualifies you from talking, from leading, from being whole. But hiding your story doesn’t heal your shame. It preserves it. And it wasn’t until I started to tell the truth that I saw what God had been doing in it all along.

The Power of Being Seen—and Still Loved

I’ve talked to enough people to know this is more common than we let on. Some of you reading this are locked in a daily fight against pornography, sexual addiction, or a secret habit you swore you’d quit. Others of you carry wounds from someone else’s sin—betrayal, abuse, manipulation, or neglect. Some of you are exhausted because someone you love keeps running back into the same darkness, and you’re left holding the pieces. And there’s one lie Satan keeps selling to all of us: “You can’t tell anyone.”

But there is something terrifying and healing about being fully known. I’ll never forget the first time I told a friend that I was struggling with temptation and felt ashamed about things from my past. I expected pity or disappointment. Instead, I got a hug and a quiet word: “Me too.”

There’s a moment in John 4 where Jesus meets a Samaritan woman at a well. She’s had five husbands and is living with a sixth man. She’s coming to the well alone, in the heat of the day, because shame isolates. But Jesus meets her there. He speaks. He listens. He names her pain. And she runs back to town shouting, “Come see a man who told me everything I ever did!”

Not, “Come see a man who ignored my sin.” Not, “Come see a man who made me feel good.” But: He saw me. And he didn’t run.

That’s the power of vulnerability.

It breaks the silence. It breathes. It invites others to look past the highlight reel and say, “Me too.” Her story echoes the apostle John, “Perfect LOVE is what drives out fear.” (1 John 4:18)

Why Your Story Isn’t Over—It’s Just Being Rewritten

Darkness will try to creep in when you tell your story. You may remember every reason why you stayed quiet: The moments you wish you could erase. The tears. The regret. The humiliation. But when God rewrites your story, he doesn’t delete the broken chapters. He redeems them.

I used to think I’d never be free from the shame I felt. Not just about things I did—but things I allowed. Things I failed to stop. Things that hurt others. I wondered if I could really be used by God. But over time, through confession, prayer, and people who refused to give up on me, I started to see something new: The cross of Christ doesn’t just forgive our sin. It reframes our entire story.

The Bible is filled with broken people whose stories don’t get erased—they get used.

We are not the sum of our worst moments. We are the sum of Christ’s righteousness, credited to us by grace. So if your story feels messy, welcome to the Bible. And welcome to the beautiful mystery of grace.

Why Telling Your Story Heals You (and Others Too)

There’s something deeply healing that happens when you go first. I’ve seen it again and again in my ministry. Someone stands up and tells the truth.

“I was addicted to porn.”

“I was unfaithful to my spouse.”

“I was molested.”

“I thought my worth was tied to my body.”

“I didn’t know how to say no.”

And suddenly, other people—who’ve been sitting in silence for years—start to breathe again. You see it in their eyes. Someone else said what they couldn’t. And now, maybe they can. Telling your story isn’t just therapy. It’s witness. It’s worship.

Revelation 12:11 says, “They triumphed over [Satan] by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony.” Not just by Jesus’ blood—but by the stories of people whose lives were changed because of that blood. Your story won’t save anyone. But it might lead them to the One who can.

Why Churches Must Be Safe Enough for Real Stories

Some of you aren’t hiding your story because you’re afraid of God. You’re hiding because of how Christians treated you. Maybe someone shamed you. Gossiped about you. Treated you like you were less than. Maybe a church leader failed to walk with you. Maybe you confessed, and instead of being led to grace, you were sent away.

I’m so sorry if that’s you. But that’s not Jesus. And it doesn’t have to be your future. Church should be the safest place in the world to tell the worst thing you’ve done. Not because sin is small—but because grace is bigger. I’m convinced we need more ministries, more small groups, more leaders, and more ordinary Christians who know how to listen with compassion and point people to the cross without flinching. We need churches that ask better questions, create real accountability, and walk patiently with sinners. Not every story needs to be told on stage. But every person should be able to say, “I’m not okay,” and know that they won’t be abandoned.

So… What’s Your Story?

You don’t have to start with a microphone. You don’t have to post it on the internet. But what if this month, you told one person the truth? What if you sat down with someone safe and said, “Can I tell you what I’ve been through?” Or, “Can I finally say out loud what I’ve been carrying?”

Or maybe, “Can I tell you what Jesus has done in my life—because it’s not just about me anymore.”

You never know who needs to hear that. I’ve had people come up after a sermon and say, “I thought I was the only one.” I’ve had family members thank me for saying what they couldn’t. I’ve had strangers open up because vulnerability breaks barriers. You don’t have to have a neat ending. You don’t have to pretend your healing is complete. You just need to be honest about who your Healer is.

Final Words: What You’ve Been Through Isn’t the End

What you’ve done—or what’s been done to you—doesn’t get the last word. Jesus does. If you’re battling sin right now, there is mercy. If you’ve been betrayed, there is comfort. If your past still haunts you, there is healing. And if you’re afraid to tell your story, there is power waiting on the other side of your “yes.” I’m not perfect. But I’m not hiding. And maybe today is the day you stop hiding too. How? Because Jesus has you wrapped in his arms, and he won’t let you go.

Jonny Lehmann is the lead pastor and instructor at Divine Savior Church in West Palm Beach, FL.

Embrace the power of honesty, prioritize gospel responses, and create Christian environments filled with grace and truth.

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Searching for Love — The One Relationship That Defines Your Life

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This article continues from part one, The Unwanted Wife — And Why Her Story Might Be Yours. Read part one →

We can’t know for sure because Scripture does not say, but one could wonder if Jacob also struggled to know who he was

While seven years of service for the chance to marry Rachel might initially sound romantic, we can’t help but wonder if it wasn’t more about Jacob than Rachel. Was he willing to work those long years to love Rachel…or simply to get someone who made him feel better about himself?

The Bible tells us that the years flew by, but he never stopped watching the clock. At the end, he told Laban, “Give me my wife. My time is completed, and I want to make love to her.”

But on the wedding night, in the secrecy of a dark tent, Rachel was replaced with Leah. Jacob didn’t realize it until morning. How? Could it be that he wasn’t in love with Rachel—he was in love with the *idea* of Rachel?

Though we can’t know exactly what was in Jacob’s heart, we know that false gods work like that. You think they’ll fulfill your deepest hopes, but they always disappoint. Perhaps you could think of it like going to bed with Rachel, but you wake up with Leah—unfulfilled, and unhappy.

Leah, too, was searching for love.

We’re told: “Leah had weak eyes, but Rachel had a lovely figure and was beautiful.” This isn’t about vision—it’s about appearance. Leah wasn’t pretty. She may have been cross-eyed, or simply unattractive. She wasn’t loved by her father. She wasn’t loved by her husband. She wasn’t enough.

And she knew it. We can feel her pain through the names she gives her sons. Her first son, Reuben, means “See, a son”—because God had seen her. But would Jacob? Her second, Simeon, reflects that God had heard her—but her husband still didn’t. Her third, Levi, was born in hope: “Now maybe my husband will become attached to me.” And still, she was unloved.

She tried to earn Jacob’s love through her children, even though she already had the love of God. She used her kids to medicate the pain of rejection. But then—something changed. With her fourth son, Judah, she says, “This time, I will praise the Lord.” Not: “Maybe now he’ll love me.”

Just: praise.

Leah finally got it.

She didn’t need a man to give her what only God could. That lesson—hard-won and heartbreaking—is one I wish every young woman today could learn.

Men often chase beauty, hoping sex will make them feel loved. Women often chase commitment, willing to settle for less in exchange for intimacy. Both end up making fools of themselves, trying to get from each other what only God can give.

But how do you break free from romantic lovesickness? You have to see the beauty of Jesus.

Leah—the weak, the rejected—was chosen to bring forth Judah, and through him, the Savior. God had mercy on her. And God chooses not the strong, intelligent, or beautiful, but the ones who know they are weak and ugly and in need of grace.

God took Jacob, the unwanted son, and Leah, the unwanted wife, and through them brought forth Judah.

From Judah came Jesus who gave up divine beauty and glory to become so disfigured and rejected that people couldn’t stand to look at him, who was more beautiful than Rachel, chose to become weaker than Leah—so that we, in all our spiritual ugliness, could become radiant in God’s sight.

It doesn’t matter how you see yourself. It doesn’t matter how others see you. Because of the ugliness of the cross, you are beautiful to God.

May that be the one love—the one relationship—that defines your life.

Brad Snyder is a pastor and instructor at St. Croix Lutheran Academy in West St. Paul, MN and serves as the chairman for Conquerors through Christ.

See your true worth through God’s Eyes (Book Recommendation)

Conqueror’s through Christ reviewed the book The Search for Significance by Robert S. McGee and considers it a useful guide for those caught in the destructive cycle of self-condemnation or worldly success. “…the point is clear that Christ is the source of our security; Christ is the basis of our worth; Christ is the only one who promises and never fails.” (p. 24) Read our full review of The Search for Significance →

The Unwanted Wife – And Why Her Story Might Be Yours

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Have you ever chased love that left you feeling used, unseen, or simply not enough?

Leah did too—and yet, God chose her to help bring Jesus into the world.

You might be living for romance, sex, or someone else’s approval—just like Jacob. You might be giving yourself away just to feel seen—just like Leah. But none of that will heal the ache in your heart. Only one love can.

Jacob worked seven years for Laban to marry his daughter Rachel. He had fallen deeply in love with her—so much so that those seven years felt like just a few days. When the time was up, Jacob went to claim his bride. Laban threw a feast, there was celebration, and Jacob spent the evening with his new wife. But when he awoke the next morning, it wasn’t Rachel by his side. “There was Leah”—Rachel’s older sister.

Why Leah?

Laban explained that it was their custom to marry off the older daughter before the younger—something that, you’d think, could have been mentioned sometime in the past seven years. Rachel stayed silent, waited out Leah’s wedding week, and then married Jacob too, in exchange for another seven years of labor.

And so Leah found herself in the middle of it all—consummating a marriage with a man who didn’t love her, who didn’t even realize it was her. And she stayed, not just for the week, but for life. She gave Jacob six sons, a daughter, and even her maidservant so that he could have more children she claimed as her own. She competed with Rachel to bear children for the man who loved Rachel more. She bought and sold the right to sleep with her husband. She was neither the deceiver nor the deceived—neither the lover nor the beloved. She had no identity of her own: daughter of a swindler, older sister to the beauty, first wife of a man who loved someone else. She was the mother of his children, but who was she, really? She was “Leah,” but what did that mean? “There was Leah” …but who was she?

Who are you? What’s your identity?

When someone says, “There you are,” who are they talking to? Are you defined by who you sleep with? By who you love? Or by who loves you? Are you defined by what you do? By what others do because of you? Are you the daughter, son, sibling, beauty, victim, or object of someone else’s affection or use? Who are you, really? And how can you know?

“There was Leah.” Why?

One reason is clear: Jesus.

Leah, the first and less-loved wife of Jacob, became the mother of Judah. And in both Matthew 1 and Luke 3, between Jacob and Judah, we find Leah—not named, but there. You and I know her name because of Jesus.

So—who are you?

I don’t know, and honestly, I don’t care who you’ve slept with or why. I don’t know what kind of person you are or what motivates you. I might not even know your name. But still—there you are.

Why? Because of Jesus.

For Jesus. In Jesus. Through Jesus. No matter what else you are, you are his. Bought with his blood—the blood that came from Leah’s line.

Many of us deeply crave the approval of others—even complete strangers. And the closer a relationship becomes, the more powerful and even idolatrous that approval can be. We care what peers think. We care even more what friends, family, and romantic partners think. These are good relationships, but they become dangerous when they become ultimate—when they compete with the love and affection that belong to God alone.

In a culture that downplays commitment and redefines marriage, Christians can react by swinging too far in the other direction, idolizing marriage as the pinnacle of life: love, family, kids, the white picket fence.

But Jesus never says that marriage will heal you. He never claims that romantic love will save you. He points to himself. Not the one who promises to spend their life with you, but the one who gave his life for you.

That is the relationship that defines your life—now and forever.

Jesus is the one who heals. He is the one who saves.

Brad Snyder is a pastor and instructor at St. Croix Lutheran Academy in West St. Paul, MN and serves as the chairman for Conquerors through Christ.

See your true worth through God’s Eyes (Book Recommendation)

God Told Him to Marry a Prostitute…What?!

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“When the LORD began to speak through Hosea, the LORD said to him, ‘Go, marry a promiscuous woman and have children with her, for like an adulterous wife this land is guilty of unfaithfulness to the LORD.’ So he married Gomer daughter of Diblaim…” (Hosea 1:2-3)

Hosea was God’s man.

God’s prophet. Set aside to do God’s work. And one of the things God had for Hosea to do was to marry Gomer.

God told Hosea to marry Gomer.

The thing is, Gomer was a prostitute. God had commanded Hosea to marry someone who had not been, and in all likelihood would never be, faithful.

Hosea was God’s object lesson.

Israel had rejected God and turned to idols the way Gomer rejected Hosea and turned to other men.

The result of the idolatry for the relationship between God and Israel was illustrated by the names of Gomer’s children:

no faithfulness
no love
no relationship

With the object lesson of Hosea’s marriage, God said to Israel: “You want to know what your idolatry means? You want to know what it’s like? Idolatry is adultery. They’re the same. Your idolatry takes what’s mine and gives it away. You belonged to me. I married you. And you ran off with other gods. You threw away the relationship with me that I gave you. Israel, you have been unfaithful.”

And what did Israel deserve for their idolatry? What did Gomer deserve for her adultery?

By law, Hosea had the right to a quick divorce.

In today’s terms, he’d get the house, the car, and the kids. But Hosea had the right to more than that. He could have Gomer killed. Stoned to death. Brutally executed.

And God had similar rights over Israel.

God would have been totally justified in a quick divorce. A complete separation.

God could leave them to their gods of wood and stone and see how long they lasted. But more than that. God had the right to punish.

Idolatry is sin.

Sin deserves death.

Physical death, yes, but more than just that. Eternal death. Death in hell.

Instead, God tells Hosea to take back his adulterous wife.

Why? Why doesn’t God allow Hosea to treat Gomer the way she deserves?

Because God does not allow himself to treat Israel the way they deserve. No divorce. No execution. No separation. No eternal punishment.

The consequences of Israel’s sins were coming, but God was never going to abandon them. He would still remain faithful. He would still love. He would still call them his own. Despite what they deserved.

Is that not the perfect picture of mercy?

How did Hosea feel about being God’s picture?

Hosea was God’s man.

God’s prophet. Set aside to do God’s work. To marry Gomer and be betrayed and feel with his human heart something like what God feels about his people and about all people.

How did Hosea feel about being put through that?

How do you feel about it?

You are God’s person. Not a prophet, but you are set aside from the world by faith in Jesus to do God’s work. And every time you take a look at life through the eyes of faith you are putting yourself in a position to feel with your human heart something like what God feels.

The pain of knowing how people are separated from him by sin. The longing for all people to turn back to him. And the love that sent his Son to win them back. Faith forces you to see things the way God sees them. And it isn’t always pleasant. It is often heartbreaking.

Hosea was God’s man.

God’s prophet. Set aside to do God’s work. And to write it down.

Hosea ends his book with this very personal thought:

“Who is wise? Let them realize these things. Who is discerning? Let them understand. The ways of the LORD are right; the righteous walk in them but the rebellious stumble in them.” (Hosea 14:9)

Hosea knew that God is right. And he felt it.

By faith, he saw things from God’s perspective. Saw how right God is to detest what sin does to people. How right God is to treat us infinitely better than we deserve. And Hosea got to be right, the way God is, in his own treatment of Gomer. And I doubt that felt good. But it must have felt right.

But he didn’t need to, right?

I know God told him to and that’s why Hosea married Gomer, and then Gomer’s unfaithfulness to Hosea could be the object lesson for Israel’s unfaithfulness to the Lord. But Hosea didn’t need to marry Gomer to make that point. That point is made nearly everywhere else in the Old Testament.

Idolatry equals adultery.

By the time we get to Hosea, God has already said idolatry equals adultery several times. And for none of those other times did God require his prophet to marry an adulteress and suffer all the suffering that comes with being married to an unfaithful partner.

And Gomer didn’t have to suffer through the public shame of being an adulteress. A shame that has been public for thousands of years now. It didn’t have to be. It all seems so unnecessary. I’m sure it would have seemed especially unnecessary to Gomer.

I’m not going to pretend to know anything about the decisions that go into pursuing a life of prostitution. I doubt Gomer was happy about her profession. It seems safe to assume that she got the job out of necessity. Her career was about survival, not about professional growth.

That being said, she was surviving. There was enough shame in it that Gomer was probably left alone for the most part. And she was probably rather desensitized to all of it.

You’d have to be, wouldn’t you? You couldn’t possibly hold onto a very high opinion of God’s gifts of sex and marriage, could you? Not while getting paid for it.

So, what would Gomer have thought of God’s command to Hosea that he find a “promiscuous woman” to marry as an object lesson for the entire nation? Did she laugh jadedly at the idea of a prostitute marrying a prophet? Did she bristle at the idea of making her shame so public or was she desensitized to that, too? Was she open with Hosea about the fact that she had no intention of remaining faithful to him after their wedding? Was the whole thing a joke to her? Was any of it really necessary?

But she went along with it, and God was able to make his point in a striking way. And Hosea’s book of God’s words is in the Bible for us to read and learn from.

Because she did, and he did and she was… Because God made his point about idolatry and adultery for them and for us and for everyone in the whole world… Because Hosea married Gomer, Gomer was loved.

Not in a Hollywood, romantic, “Pretty Woman” kind of way. We don’t know that Hosea and Gomer ever “fell in love.” We know for a fact that Hosea was commanded to love Gomer. In spite of who she was. But still, she was loved. Not for money. But for God. To show God’s love.

But still, she was loved. Not for money. But for God. To show God’s love.

Was it necessary? Was that the only way for God to show his love to his people? By commanding Hosea to love Gomer? I mean, God did it that way so we can assume it was necessary. And how else was Gomer ever going to be loved? How else was she ever going to understand how much God loved her, unless by seeing Hosea love her? And forgive her. Without any reason to other than that God told him to.

Because that’s how God loves. Hosea is an example to us of how God sees our sin. It’s prostitution. It’s adultery. It’s shameful and hurtful and so offensive that it’s nauseating. And still, Gomer is an example to us and to herself of how God still loves us. And that’s why our sin offends him. Because he loves us. And so he loves us far more than we deserve and entirely in spite of who we are. He loves us so much that, jaded and desensitized as we may be, he finds a way to get the message of his love through to us. Usually, through the people whom he has put in our lives to be little examples of his love.

Was it necessary? I don’t know about you, but object lessons always seem pretty superfluous. Except when I consider that every human life is an object lesson to every other. That’s the beauty of how God made us. As social creatures, we learn best when we learn from each other.

And what do we learn when we consider to what lengths God went to show us his love in the lives of all the people he mentions in his book?

What do we learn from Gomer?

We learn the most important, most striking, most necessary lesson of them all.

We learn of God’s grace.

We learn of Jesus.

Brad Snyder is a pastor and instructor at St. Croix Lutheran Academy in West St. Paul, MN and serves as the chairman for Conquerors through Christ.

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Why Am I Dating?

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Well, truth be told, I’m not.

I’ve been single most of my life, and it’s been a year since my last relationship. But I’m no rookie. I’ve held hands, cuddled, kissed, gently caressed a face, and given some big ol’ bear hugs.

Does that make me cool? Should I feel accomplished because I’ve experienced those things?

If I defined my relationships by physical experiences alone, I’d be missing the point. I’d be shallow.

Let’s Be Honest About Our Culture

You’ve probably heard the question, “What’s your body count?” How vile is that? Our culture tracks sex like tally marks—transactional moments of pleasure, not covenantal acts of love. Some even display pictures or keep lists as if each encounter is a badge of honor.

Our world has cheapened the physical side of relationships, especially sex. It’s become routine: clock in for a few minutes of pleasure, clock out, repeat with someone new. Or seek out a digital substitute that requires nothing more than a search bar.

But is keeping a list of hugs, kisses, hand-holding, or more really any different if our motivation is the same? Both stem from a self-centered heart. As Jesus said, “Out of the heart come evil thoughts…” (Matthew 15:19). So let’s ask ourselves honestly: Why am I dating? Is it to get a warm feeling? To satisfy desires? Or is there something deeper?

Christ Transforms Our Motivation

For the Christian, Christ is the motivation for every part of life—including dating. His death and resurrection created a new self within us, a heart that longs to serve Him. That motivation doesn’t get left at the door when we enter into relationships.

The world’s expectations fade when we remember that our identity and worth are grounded in Jesus.

With Christ at the center, objectification disappears. Man and woman were both made in God’s image. They both fell into sin. And they are both equally redeemed by Christ. In Him, we are not competitors or objects—we are fellow heirs of grace. The world’s expectations fade when we remember that our identity and worth are grounded in Jesus.

Affection Is Not the Enemy

Don’t get me wrong. There’s nothing sinful about hand-holding, cuddling, kissing, or those big ol’ bear hugs. These can be beautiful ways to express love. But pause for a moment: consider how much of a blessing it is to have someone in your life you can love and cherish. And if you’re single, consider how great a blessing it will be when God brings someone into your life in His time.

God Made Us for Companionship

Remember Adam? God had him name the animals, not just to give them labels, but to help Adam realize that none of them were like him. God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone.” So God created Eve. And together they had something beautiful: companionship.

Companionship is awesome. It’s more than just affection—it’s having a built-in friend, encourager, and helper. But most of all, it’s an opportunity to practice selfless love: to care for someone who isn’t you. Remind you of Someone else?

Jesus loved us with a perfect, selfless love. Now we get to model that love

Jesus loved us with a perfect, selfless love. Now we get to model that love in our friendships, our families, and our dating relationships. What a joy it is—even when it brings heartache or tears—to show genuine love to another.

Selflessness Doesn’t Come Naturally

Why do so many relationships fall apart? Because selflessness is hard. Because one person gives and the other doesn’t. Because some look to relationships only for what they can get, not what they can give.

“Walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us” (Ephesians 5:2).

Let’s be honest: I need this reminder, too. I’m not writing this because I’ve got it all figured out. I’m writing this because my heart also wants to be selfish. But we are called to something better: “Walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us” (Ephesians 5:2).

So, Why Am I Dating?

Right now, I’m not. But I know God has used every relationship I’ve had for my good. And one day, if it’s His will, He will bless me with a wife—and I pray I’ll be ready to love her with the selfless, Christlike love that He has shown me.

Written by Nathaniel Brauer, Senior at Martin Luther College

God Is Right Now

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The Reality of History…

As Western culture has re-evaluated its relationship with history over the past couple years, a common refrain has been, “History is written by the victors.”

The point of the phrase is that it’s easy to lose the story of the people who “lost” in the progress of history because they are either dead or their self-expression is suppressed by those who “won.” Therefore, we have been coming to grips with the reality that history is not as clean cut as we might have learned in 5th grade history class.

….And Our Future

Our ideas of the future are similar. We tend to have formulated a plotline for the rest of our life at any given time…

… I’ll live here
… I’ll be married
… I won’t be married
… I’ll have kids
… I’ll work this job, etc.

But the future is even more dubious than the past. There are thousands of factors that affect the outcome of your life that are completely outside of your control. And yet, how quickly we become anxious or worried about the future that will almost certainly not happen the same way we imagine it!

The Way God Wants Us to Know Him

I think Christians sometimes do the same thing with God. We tend to think about God on the basis of our past or our future. “God must be blessing/cursing me because I was good/bad in the past.” “God, please bless me with (fill in the blank) in the future.”

And don’t get me wrong, our God is the same yesterday, today, and forever. He “declares the end from the beginning and from ancient times things not yet done, saying, ‘My counsel shall stand, and I will accomplish all my purpose.” (Is. 46:10) But my concern is that we forget that the way God wants us to know him is in the present.

Do you remember Elijah’s lament to God in 1 Kings 19?

Elijah complains about his past… “I have been very zealous for you, God! And everyone has rejected you!” And then he complains about his future… “They are going to kill me now!”

And how does God answer?

In the present. He says, “Stand over there, Elijah. I’m going to pass by you.” He basically ignores Elijah’s worries about the past or the future until the very end of the text! He just comforts him by saying, “I am here right now.”

God reoriented Elijah. “Elijah, what’s more important than the past or the future is the fact that I am with you right now.”

Even though we don’t want to admit it to ourselves, that’s what we want. I have two little daughters and sometimes they call me into their room in the middle of the night because they’re scared. At that point, they don’t need a logical argument about how the dark cannot hurt them or about how the sun will come up soon or how there has never been anything bad that has happened in their room in the middle of the night in the past.

God is here right now. That’s what our soul craves; that’s what God is.

They just need their daddy to be with them.

The past is a story we struggle to make sense of, the future is a made-up story we tell ourselves. God is here right now. That’s what our soul craves; that’s what God is.

And that means that you can dispense with the stories you tell yourself about your past.

No matter how or what you struggled with…it’s paid for at the cross. It is finished. And you can stop worrying about the story you expect to play out in the future. It’s not your story to write.

But you do have right now, and a God who loves you, approves of you, desires to be with you, walks with you, speaks to you right now.

“So long as it is ‘Today,’ be sure to hear his voice.” (paraphrase of Hebrew 4:6-7)

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

You’re right here, right now.

You don’t exist “then.”

And God is right here too.

Caleb Schultz is the Content Editor for Conquerors through Christ. He serves as a pastor in a suburb of Toronto, Canada.

The Devil’s Lies about Porn

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You’re Not Hurting Anyone

It is so easy to believe this because screens are deceptive barriers. No one gets concerned for the health of an actor when we see a fight scene in a movie. A tragedy in a sitcom may tug the heartstrings, but we know that the pain is fabricated and the tears don’t leave the set.

Porn is not like that.

Its effects do not remain behind the screen. Though it may be scripted, it is not inconsequential. Those are real people performing real acts that defy God’s desires for our bodies. And it’s not just the actors and actresses who are affected. Watching those actions has real detrimental consequences on the viewer.

Though the porn industry often causes serious problems in the lives of the performers, it always does harm to its viewers.

Porn teaches both men and women unrealistic and unhealthy expectations about each other’s bodies.

Porn teaches both men and women unrealistic and unhealthy expectations about each other’s bodies. Some types present sexual violence as a legitimate and beneficial way to find pleasure. Porn can lead to sexual dysfunction. It breaks the trust in relationships and infiltrates the committed love between spouses.

The use of porn can create a negative feedback loop of shame in the mind of the user. But most importantly, porn takes blatant violations of God’s will for his gift of sex and throws it in our faces declaring, “This is good!” The private and secluded environment in which most porn is viewed can delude us with the lie that there is no impact to the outside world.

But pornography hurts the people on both sides of the screen. It harms the viewer’s relationships, both with family, and more importantly with God.

Your Body, Your Business

Throughout history, sexual sins have had some of the strongest societal taboos. It is not so with porn in our society. In fact, during the height of the pandemic some governments were encouraging their locked-down citizens to watch porn and ease their sexual desires in that way.

Again, the deceptively secluded nature of watching pornography allows the devil to convince us that it’s really not anyone else’s concern if this is how we find satisfaction or relieve stress.

It’s not like infidelity or premarital sex because you’re not physically committing sin with anyone else, right?

And while it’s true that the consequences of those things may be more visible, pornography is also out of line with God’s plan for how we use our bodies, and specifically our sexuality.

So while the world may tell us watching porn is a personal matter, we know that is not the case. It impacts current relationships and is a hindrance to future ones. But most dangerously, it can damage our relationship with God.

Make no mistake: Watching pornography is a sin.

Our bodies are not our own; they are temples of the Lord who made them (1 Corinthians 6:19).

Acting in a way against God’s desire for our bodies transgresses his perfect law. Repeated sins that become entrenched in our lives always present a threat to our walk of faith.

This is Who You Are

One of the most soul endangering deceptions that Satan works on believers is that the identity of a Christian is tied to their sins, that what we have done defines us.

Again, to our logic which is corrupted in the sinful world, this doesn’t seem like so much of a stretch. Throughout history people have been associated with their actions, whether noble or devious.

Felons face the reality of the societal identity their actions have given them every day. Even neighbors decide who gets a friendly wave and who they happen to not see based on what they’ve done. This is Satan’s final and most devastating tactic.

After he has convinced you to seek your own pleasure, he turns the perfect mirror of God’s law toward you and laughs, “What sort of ‘Christian’ would do that?!?” His final aim is for you to believe you are what you have done…failure.

When God the Father looks at us he sees only the perfection of the Son, won by his sinless life and sacrificial death.

But praise be to God that he does not look at us through the lens of our actions. When God the Father looks at us he sees only the perfection of the Son, won by his sinless life and sacrificial death.

Viewing pornography is a sin that hurts the producer, the viewer, and the loved ones around them.

But for those who believe and confess that Jesus is the Savior, a sexual sinner is no longer who you are. Rather, you are washed, redeemed, and justified through the blood of Jesus.

That does not mean that quitting porn will be easy, but it does mean that it is possible.

And it means that after every fall you have a Savior picking you up in love and after every triumph you have a Father rejoicing as you walk in service to him.

Admitting to a porn problem is daunting and worrisome, especially for Christians. But Christ did not call us to walk in fear.

Recovery is possible. The God who set the stars ablaze and spun the planets looks at his children not as a collection of their sins but as a reflection of his Son’s holiness.

Jonas Landwehr is a pastoral studies student in his second year at Wisconsin Lutheran Seminary.