Probably every age is a fine age to talk to your child about sexuality in age-appropriate ways. Talk to your two-year-old about privacy and differences between boys and girls. As they develop, you can continue teaching them about their body and later about the temptations and threats that exist in the world and can harm our bodies. Sex education is a process, not an event. You are not looking for a time to have one big awkward conversation. You are looking for many opportunities throughout your child’s life to advance the process of teaching them of God’s blessings and intentions for them and their bodies.
Pornography objectifies people and creates unrealistic expectations for sex that are completely void of the intimacy God intends. Pornography can be very addictive. Pornography encourages the abuse of women. The harm of pornography on your child extends beyond a guilty conscience and a damaged understanding of God’s design for sex. Pornography harms self-image and leads to lack of confidence and low self-worth.
A Pastor Reflects on Porn and Church Leadership
In this article the author makes some good points about how we should handle church leadership when porn addiction is involved. Like regularly educating the entire congregation of the challenges that leaders face in a sex-crazed world. Like reminding them that “Those who aren’t struggling with sexual addiction need to understand it anyway because so many folks around them are.”
God’s grace and forgiveness alone can heal broken sinners and make them whole so they can serve him in his kingdom.
The article’s discussion of “the goal of spiritual transformation is completeness or perfection” is confusing because this side of heaven no one can be perfect. The goal of “spiritual transformation” is becoming more Christ-like, living as holy (not perfect) a life as one can – always to thank God for his saving grace and forgiveness. God’s grace and forgiveness alone can heal broken sinners and make them whole so they can serve him in his kingdom. Invite and encourage each other with the Gospel of God’s forgiveness which gives the peace and power to overcome and be victorious.
Read: Read A Pastor Reflects on Porn and Church Leadership on the Covenant Eyes website
Author: Luke Gilkerson
FAQ Friday: Should my wife be my accountability partner?
…it is better for the addict to have someone for their accountability partner who is detached from the situation…
This article makes a case both for and against having one’s wife be one’s accountability partner. We at Conquerors through Christ lean more against having one’s spouse be one’s accountability partner for all the reasons stated in the “against” section of the article and then some. Whether the wife or the husband is the victim, it is better for the addict to have someone for their accountability partner who is detached from the situation and thus who can be impartial and yet in love hold the addict responsible for their behavior. Any accountability partner needs to be able to relate to the addict’s problem and confront him or her with the right amount of God’s Law to convict them of their sin and God’s Gospel to forgive, heal and empower to conquer the sin.
Read: FAQ Friday on the Covenant Eyes website
Author: Luke Gilkerson
Pocket Porn: Nearly a third of teens carry portable X-rated theaters
This article lays out some very alarming statistics of the downward spiral that modern technology is leading an ever increasing number of young people into through porn viewing on mobile devices (smart phones, ipods, ipads, etc.).
…invite and encourage each other with the Gospel of God’s forgiveness
The author emphasizes the need for parents and schools to be involved and proactive in their children’s and student’s use of these devices and access to the internet world.
As the article describes a father and son confessing their sin of porn addiction to each other, may many more fathers and their sons confess this same sin, but more importantly invite and encourage each other with the Gospel of God’s forgiveness which gives the peace and power to overcome and be victorious.
Read: Pocket Porn on the Covenant Eyes website
Author: Luke Gilkerson
Honor God with Your Body
The Holy Spirit led the apostle Paul to use a very striking example. Would you ever say, “Hey Jesus, I’m going to spend some time with a prostitute? Want to come along?”
Through faith he has united you with Christ.
Of course not! A child of God would never think that. A child of God would never say that. Never! Yet children of God sometimes do that. And children of God do other nasty things. They unite their bodies—or hearts or minds—with a man or woman not their spouse. They unite with sinful images in print or on video. They unite with sinful content on their computers. The temptations are real. Very real!
What is a Christian facing such temptations to do? Think about what Paul urged the Corinthian Christians to do when facing similar temptations.
When battling sexual temptations, remember that your body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord. Why? Because God has done a wonderful thing. Through faith he has united you with Christ. That means everything Christ did is yours. His perfect life is yours. His death is yours. His burial and resurrection are yours. And his new life is yours.
Jesus offered his perfect life and shed his precious blood on the cross for you. That purchase price made complete payment for your sins. Wow! What an awesome gift! Your sins are taken away. And by faith you have been made a member of Christ; you are united with Jesus, your Savior!
Paul mentions a few results. You are not your own. The Holy Spirit lives in you; your body is his temple. And your body will be raised from the dead; you have an eternal future. So, what’s the bottom line in the context of sexuality? Where Jesus goes, you go. And where you go, Jesus goes. All of this moves and enables you to flee from sexual immorality.
We are surrounded by some pretty nasty temptations. When you face those temptations, remember what Christ has done for you. Remember who you are in Christ. And together with him, honor God with your body.
What Kids are Learning from Porn
James Emery White – a prescient thinker, Charlotte-based pastor, and culture blogger – paints a bleak picture of ways porn affects teens view of sex.
These kids are led astray by the devil, the world, and their sinful flesh.
His article was inspired by another, from the New York Times, in which they interviewed and studied several young teenagers who used pornography. The article particularly explores the ways the pornography encourages men to abuse women.
Overall, there is grim reality in the piece, and he uses the harshness of it as a call to action. At the same time, we at CtC would add a call to grace. These kids are led astray by the devil, the world, and their sinful flesh. If we want to help them or those among them who have not yet learned from porn, we need to introduce them to the unconditional gospel of Jesus. At the same time, we need to be ready to explain what good sex looks like and why bad sex is dangerous – but they aren’t going to care about that unless they’re motivated by the powerful love of Jesus.
Article Author: James Emery White
Published Date: 2/26/18
Reviewed Date: 4/2/18
Reviewer: Kent Reeder
Recently the CtC team became aware of two sets of reviews of filtering software that can be helpful in the fight to preserve or restore godly sexuality.
children and adults often need assistance while this spiritual maturing is underway.
The battle is largely fought on two fronts: Protecting kids from accidental or purposeful exposure to pornography (though no tool can provide perfect protection). Helping recovering addicts in their struggle against their own sinful natures and the abundant false promises offered by the world’s portrayal of sexuality.
The best protection is a well-trained conscience motivated by the gospel to live for Jesus. But that can take years to develop. Our Parent Support Plan provides tools for building this spiritual weapon in children. But children and adults often need assistance while this spiritual maturing is underway. Filtering software can be one of the tools that assists. The following two links provide reviews of the capabilities, effectiveness, and cost of the many options that are available.
Reviews focused on:
Note: These links take you out of the CtC website. We believe the information on the linked pages can be helpful, especially with respect to the technical capabilities of the software, their effectiveness, and costs. But the reader is urged to view the information with discernment. CtC has no relationship with the reviewing entities and cannot ensure that all the information presented aligns with our values and beliefs.
In this self-published little book, author John Wong goes into a helpful discussion of pornography. He divides his discussion into two parts. The first part deals with what porn is and its harmful effect on you, your relationships to your children, spouse, and, just as importantly, your attitude towards women in general. Part Two takes one through the evaluation of whether you have an addiction to porn. Then Mr. Wong goes into a discussion of how to break free from this addiction. Lastly he concludes with a brief listing of on-line resources that one might find useful.