Tag Archive for: Myself

FAQ

Is fantasizing sin?

If you mean fantasizing (dreaming) about engaging in sex with someone you’re not married to, then those thoughts would dishonor marriage and God (Hebrews 13:4). This is not who God made you to be. God calls all people to believe in his Son as their Savior. When the Holy Spirit creates that saving faith in your heart, you become a temple of the Holy Spirit, which will compel you to honor God with their whole being—mind, soul and body. So yes, it is sin – but it is also a sin Jesus paid the price to forgive.

FAQ

Does God see pornography as physically cheating on your spouse/significant other?

Remember that anything that is contrary to God’s Word and will is sin, whether it is our thoughts, our words or our deeds. Jesus warns us: “For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander” (Matthew 15:19). Our Savior also warned in his sermon on the mount: “Anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:28). Viewing pornography is heart sexual immorality (for single people) and heart adultery (for married people)—sins against God. The child of God will want to escape and avoid the sin of pornography. They can and will do this by remembering that God has cleansed them from all of their sins which empowers them to “leave their life of sin.”

FAQ

How do you get feeling “pure” again after sinning sexually, especially with all of the guilt and shame that comes along with these sins?

“Feelings” are fickle because they come and go. We must ALWAYS go back to the cross, day in and day out, and there confess our sins and believe they are forgiven because God has said they are. There we can be confident in being pure again because God promises it is so. He assures us that we are washed “clean” in the blood of his Son shed on the cross for us. Remember God’s promise to you through Jeremiah in 31:34: “I will forgive their wickedness and remember their sins no more.” Remember what God promises in Romans 8:1: “Therefore there is now NO CONDEMNATION for those who are in Christ Jesus.” Other promises of God for us to remember are found in Isaiah 65:3, John 15:3, 1 Corinthians 6:11, Ephesians 5:26, Hebrews 9:14 and 1 John 1:7.

FAQ

What do I do if I’m single and have no godly option for my sexual urges?

You may be surprised to know that sex within marriage doesn’t cure pornography addiction.  Those who entered marriage with a porn problem soon find that they still have a porn problem!  Therefore, don’t allow the Devil to deceive into thinking this will fix itself if you get married.  The time to act is now both for your own sake and the sake of your future spouse, if you do get married in the future.  Finally, remember that the God who created you as a sexual being is able to sustain and strengthen you for purity, even if that means a life of celibacy like the Apostle Paul or Jesus himself.

FAQ

Ok – so maybe I am addicted. Now what do I do?

  1. Pray. Tell God about what you have been doing. It shouldn’t be all that hard, after all, He already knows. He’s just waiting for you to come to him so he can tell you that he he loves you and has forgiven you.
  2. Watch our videos and explore the web site— they summarize the steps to follow to get porn out of your life.
  3. Take the hardest step—tell someone—your pastor, a trusted friend, your spouse, or a Christian counselor. This is an sin we can almost guarantee you will not be able to “fix” on your own. You will need help. But the good news is there IS help available. But you must seek it out.  Satan will seek to keep you isolated and weak.  Don’t let him.
  4. Seek ongoing support in the form of counseling and accountability.  This is a battle and Satan will not let his grip on you go without a treamendous struggle.
  5. Thank God for the victories and cry for mercy for any failures along the way.
FAQ

I‘m not addicted to porn, I just look at it on occasion when I’m bored or stressed. Should I be worried?

YES – Absolutely. Thank God if you are not addicted…but get help NOW before you are. Many do not even realize they have passed the point of addiciton.  The scary thing about porn is that it attacks your brain and changes the way you think and act. The “thrill” you get from watching porn becomes ingrained in the brain and makes you always want more. Counselors tell us that because of the easy availability and frequency of use, this is one of the hardest addictions to break.  Like other highly addicitive substances, porn viewing has other highly damaging consequences, such as:

  • You eventually need more and stronger “porn drugs”. Your craving most often will lead to desiring more extreme or deviant kinds of pornography.
  • Men who watch porn (even though they may are not be “addicted”) can even have erectile dysfunction problems because of the effects of porn on their brain. This can cause problems in marriages—both current and future.

Please talk to your pastor or a good Christian counselor about getting help before you do become addicted.

FAQ

Pornography Use: Sin or Disease? Sin or Addiction?

The distinction regarding pornography use – is it a sin or an addiction? …and if it is an addiction, is it a disease like appendicitis that we have no control over? – has been argued about for some time.  The same arguement exists regarding alcohol use.

Pastor James Berger in John Cook’s book, Conquerors Through Christ, answered the question regarding sin or disease regarding alcohol abuse/addiction by saying that alcohol abuse/addiction is both sin and disease.  One does not become diseased with alcohol addiction without the sin of abusing alcohol in some way.  He called the person addicted to alcohol a person caught in a sin.  “Caught in a sin” is his key phrase.

An alcoholic does not become addicted to alcohol without bending the elbow to get the drink to his or her mouth.  One does not become addicted to pornography without using it.  If you search the Bible carefully you will note that drunkenness is the sin, not the glass of wine that we drink or the beer that we sip.  Lust is the sin, not the nude picture or the act of intercourse between husband and wife.  God gave us sex as a blessing.  God gave us alcohol as a blessing.  It is when we abuse either that we sin.

We abuse God’s blessing of sex upon a man and a woman in marriage with lustful desires for anyone not our spouse.  We abuse God’s gift of sex with adultery and fornication.  Matthew 5:27-28  “You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery.’  But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

Addiction is the continual and habitual use of something that is sinful or the abuse of something that is given by God as a blessing in such a way that it becomes a powerful, controlling force in our lives.  An addiction is something physiological in the brain that compels us to keep on doing that which we, as Christians, know is displeasing to God.  When that happens the addiction rules our lives, not our God.  We are caught in the sin of abusing the thing to which we are addicted.

According to some scientific studies, the brain activity and pleasure intensity is the same for both:

  • The person sinning in lust as he or she views porn
  • The person addicted to the pleasure provided by crack cocaine

It does not take long for the brain to crave the pleasure of crack cocaine or the pleasure of lust and porn use.  When the brain begins to demand that it be pleasured, the pathways of the brain change.  When this change happens, the addiction happens.  The lust and the abuse come first.  The sin is there with the lust and the abuse.  The word, “addiction,” describes being “caught in the sin.”  It is not only a sinful feeling and a spiritually sinful abuse of a blessing from God, it has also become a physical corruption in the brain.

An addicted person will always be an addict for his or her whole life.  But when the addict stops the sin – the abuse and misuse of sex with lust or porn – then our God of love has blessed him or her again.  No person caught in a sin gets set free without Christ.  Jesus Christ is the power that is greater than any chains of sin or addiction. Repentance is being sorry for sin, trusting in God’s forgiveness, and turning away from that sin.  There are fruits to repentance.  The cravings and the desire may still be there for the addicted person.  But the continued misuse of God’s blessings is no longer there.  Sinful lust no longer controls the person, but is banished when it enters the mind.  By God’s grace in Christ there is forgiveness.  A sanctified Christian life in recovery is being lived with the help of God.

In God there is victory!  In our Triune God we are more than conquerors.

FAQ

I’m a pastor so am very familiar with helping people who sin, but not very familiar with porn addiction. How can I best help someone who comes to me with this problem?

You know what you need to know to offer the person forgiveness. Do that as you would for any sin. But because of the nature of this addiction, it is highly recommended that you refer him or her to a good Christian counselor who specializes in porn addiction. This will offer the person the best chance for recovery from the addiction. But you will likely still need to be the primary individual there to help your member with day-to-day spiritual doubts and struggles.

FAQ

Why do you recommend a Christian counselor? Won’t just any counselor work?

Not necessarily. While there are many available qualified counselors, not all of them specialize in sexual sins. To be honest – many secular counselors may not even see porn viewing, adultery, or living together outside of marriage as wrong. In addition, some Christian counselors under-emphasize the motivational role provided by the gospel good news which is vital for this struggle. On our web site we provide a list of counselors who specialize in the area of sexual sins and understand the powerful motivation provided by Jesus (For Christ’s love us… 2 Cor 5:14).

FAQ

You often recommend counseling, but isn’t counseling expensive?

While professional counseling is rarely on the “value menu”, consider this—The progression of your porn problem will cost you immensely more than any counselor will charge.  If you lose your marriage, your job, your reputation, or your faith, you will lose something much more valuable than a few hundred dollars.  Think of it in reverse—If you could pay a few hundred dollars and relive the last few years of your life without the wreckage of porn, would you?  Of course!  So, don’t let a week’s paycheck get in the way of your path to years of future victory over this sin.