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God Is Right Now

The Reality of History…

As Western culture has re-evaluated its relationship with history over the past couple years, a common refrain has been, “History is written by the victors.”

The point of the phrase is that it’s easy to lose the story of the people who “lost” in the progress of history because they are either dead or their self-expression is suppressed by those who “won.” Therefore, we have been coming to grips with the reality that history is not as clean cut as we might have learned in 5th grade history class.

….And Our Future

Our ideas of the future are similar. We tend to have formulated a plotline for the rest of our life at any given time…

… I’ll live here
… I’ll be married
… I won’t be married
… I’ll have kids
… I’ll work this job, etc.

But the future is even more dubious than the past. There are thousands of factors that affect the outcome of your life that are completely outside of your control. And yet, how quickly we become anxious or worried about the future that will almost certainly not happen the same way we imagine it!

The Way God Wants Us to Know Him

I think Christians sometimes do the same thing with God. We tend to think about God on the basis of our past or our future. “God must be blessing/cursing me because I was good/bad in the past.” “God, please bless me with (fill in the blank) in the future.”

And don’t get me wrong, our God is the same yesterday, today, and forever. He “declares the end from the beginning and from ancient times things not yet done, saying, ‘My counsel shall stand, and I will accomplish all my purpose.” (Is. 46:10) But my concern is that we forget that the way God wants us to know him is in the present.

Do you remember Elijah’s lament to God in 1 Kings 19?

Elijah complains about his past… “I have been very zealous for you, God! And everyone has rejected you!” And then he complains about his future… “They are going to kill me now!”

And how does God answer?

In the present. He says, “Stand over there, Elijah. I’m going to pass by you.” He basically ignores Elijah’s worries about the past or the future until the very end of the text! He just comforts him by saying, “I am here right now.”

God reoriented Elijah. “Elijah, what’s more important than the past or the future is the fact that I am with you right now.”

Even though we don’t want to admit it to ourselves, that’s what we want. I have two little daughters and sometimes they call me into their room in the middle of the night because they’re scared. At that point, they don’t need a logical argument about how the dark cannot hurt them or about how the sun will come up soon or how there has never been anything bad that has happened in their room in the middle of the night in the past.

God is here right now. That’s what our soul craves; that’s what God is.

They just need their daddy to be with them.

The past is a story we struggle to make sense of, the future is a made-up story we tell ourselves. God is here right now. That’s what our soul craves; that’s what God is.

And that means that you can dispense with the stories you tell yourself about your past.

No matter how or what you struggled with…it’s paid for at the cross. It is finished. And you can stop worrying about the story you expect to play out in the future. It’s not your story to write.

But you do have right now, and a God who loves you, approves of you, desires to be with you, walks with you, speaks to you right now.

“So long as it is ‘Today,’ be sure to hear his voice.” (paraphrase of Hebrew 4:6-7)

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

You’re right here, right now.

You don’t exist “then.”

And God is right here too.

Caleb Schultz is the Content Editor for Conquerors through Christ. He serves as a pastor in a suburb of Toronto, Canada.

The Devil’s Lies about Porn

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You’re Not Hurting Anyone

It is so easy to believe this because screens are deceptive barriers. No one gets concerned for the health of an actor when we see a fight scene in a movie. A tragedy in a sitcom may tug the heartstrings, but we know that the pain is fabricated and the tears don’t leave the set.

Porn is not like that.

Its effects do not remain behind the screen. Though it may be scripted, it is not inconsequential. Those are real people performing real acts that defy God’s desires for our bodies. And it’s not just the actors and actresses who are affected. Watching those actions has real detrimental consequences on the viewer.

Though the porn industry often causes serious problems in the lives of the performers, it always does harm to its viewers.

Porn teaches both men and women unrealistic and unhealthy expectations about each other’s bodies.

Porn teaches both men and women unrealistic and unhealthy expectations about each other’s bodies. Some types present sexual violence as a legitimate and beneficial way to find pleasure. Porn can lead to sexual dysfunction. It breaks the trust in relationships and infiltrates the committed love between spouses.

The use of porn can create a negative feedback loop of shame in the mind of the user. But most importantly, porn takes blatant violations of God’s will for his gift of sex and throws it in our faces declaring, “This is good!” The private and secluded environment in which most porn is viewed can delude us with the lie that there is no impact to the outside world.

But pornography hurts the people on both sides of the screen. It harms the viewer’s relationships, both with family, and more importantly with God.

Your Body, Your Business

Throughout history, sexual sins have had some of the strongest societal taboos. It is not so with porn in our society. In fact, during the height of the pandemic some governments were encouraging their locked-down citizens to watch porn and ease their sexual desires in that way.

Again, the deceptively secluded nature of watching pornography allows the devil to convince us that it’s really not anyone else’s concern if this is how we find satisfaction or relieve stress.

It’s not like infidelity or premarital sex because you’re not physically committing sin with anyone else, right?

And while it’s true that the consequences of those things may be more visible, pornography is also out of line with God’s plan for how we use our bodies, and specifically our sexuality.

So while the world may tell us watching porn is a personal matter, we know that is not the case. It impacts current relationships and is a hindrance to future ones. But most dangerously, it can damage our relationship with God.

Make no mistake: Watching pornography is a sin.

Our bodies are not our own; they are temples of the Lord who made them (1 Corinthians 6:19).

Acting in a way against God’s desire for our bodies transgresses his perfect law. Repeated sins that become entrenched in our lives always present a threat to our walk of faith.

This is Who You Are

One of the most soul endangering deceptions that Satan works on believers is that the identity of a Christian is tied to their sins, that what we have done defines us.

Again, to our logic which is corrupted in the sinful world, this doesn’t seem like so much of a stretch. Throughout history people have been associated with their actions, whether noble or devious.

Felons face the reality of the societal identity their actions have given them every day. Even neighbors decide who gets a friendly wave and who they happen to not see based on what they’ve done. This is Satan’s final and most devastating tactic.

After he has convinced you to seek your own pleasure, he turns the perfect mirror of God’s law toward you and laughs, “What sort of ‘Christian’ would do that?!?” His final aim is for you to believe you are what you have done…failure.

When God the Father looks at us he sees only the perfection of the Son, won by his sinless life and sacrificial death.

But praise be to God that he does not look at us through the lens of our actions. When God the Father looks at us he sees only the perfection of the Son, won by his sinless life and sacrificial death.

Viewing pornography is a sin that hurts the producer, the viewer, and the loved ones around them.

But for those who believe and confess that Jesus is the Savior, a sexual sinner is no longer who you are. Rather, you are washed, redeemed, and justified through the blood of Jesus.

That does not mean that quitting porn will be easy, but it does mean that it is possible.

And it means that after every fall you have a Savior picking you up in love and after every triumph you have a Father rejoicing as you walk in service to him.

Admitting to a porn problem is daunting and worrisome, especially for Christians. But Christ did not call us to walk in fear.

Recovery is possible. The God who set the stars ablaze and spun the planets looks at his children not as a collection of their sins but as a reflection of his Son’s holiness.

Jonas Landwehr is a pastoral studies student in his second year at Wisconsin Lutheran Seminary.

Sexual Liberation or Infidelity Hell

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“You have no right to judge me.” Or so I’ve been told.

Truth is, they’re right. As a sinner saved by grace I am in no position to cast any stones of condemnation. The rationale as to WHY I shouldn’t be judging, however, is where the debate comes in.

Yesterday’s reasoning for abstaining from judgment was because I too was a sinner and therefore didn’t have the right to suggest I’m better. We’ll call this the moral hypocrisy argument. Again, I don’t disagree. But that’s not today’s rationale. Today, in the 21st century, the logic we’re generally fed for why it’s inappropriate to make moral judgments about others is because everyone is responsible for forming their own truth. At least that’s the current cultural assumption. Do what you want to do, be true to yourself, just don’t hurt anyone along the way. This is the moral relativism argument.

This is something of a hollowed out Golden Rule and is fairly clever. It sounds nice and is probably the best case you can make for morality apart from God. But, with just a little thought, the average person can recognize that moral relativism doesn’t work.

If everything is permissible so long as you’re not hurting anyone, who gets to say for sure whether or not someone is being hurt?

Take something as commonplace today as pornography usage.

We now have 20 years of research on the effects of internet pornography, a generation of people largely educated by the public to believe that porn was a legitimate “safe sex” alternative to engaging in more risky sexual behavior. It wasn’t just a victimless crime. It was touted as a “healthy” alternative.

Today, we know that approximately 80% of young adult men, 70% of middle-aged men, and 50% of older adult men admit to accessing pornography on some sort of regular basis (Pornography usage numbers, by the way, are often considered by experts to be notoriously underreported, i.e. it could be higher.). Couple this regularity with the tidal wave of research that says pornography consumption leads to a vastly heightened prevalence of sexual addiction, sexual dysfunction, more graphic, illegal, and abusive sexual practices, the devaluation of monogamy and child rearing, and quite predictably, the likelihood of an affair.

In 2002, the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers reported the following as the most salient factors present in divorce cases:

68% of the divorces involved one party meeting a new lover over the Internet.
56% involved one party having “an obsessive interest in pornographic websites.

From a practical perspective, pornography can, and often does, lead to divorce and therefore to victims: the other partner in the relationship, children, extended family who have to pick up the pieces. But even if a legal divorce isn’t the end result of porn use, there are still victims. For married people, porn use can create images and ideas in the mind of the user which he or she brings into the bedroom with their spouse…like inviting a third person into their relationship.

For single people, porn can lead to unrealistic expectations of the opposite sex. And then there are the actors and actresses in the films, many of whom are coerced or forced to act in pornography, and even if they do so willingly, are far more likely to deal with psychological and physical problems as a result of their work, such as depression, sexual violence, suicidality, and poverty…at a rate that is nearly 3x the rate of people who do not act in pornography (according to a 2011 study of women published in the Psychiatric Services journal)!

The cultural command is…everything is permissible so long as you’re not hurting anyone. Again, I ask, who gets to say for sure whether or not someone is being hurt? It certainly seems like millions are hurting because of the relative morality dictum.

So, I’m suggesting we reconsider.

Relative morality does not work. Darwinian amorality, where everyone does whatever they see fit, even if it does involve willfully hurting others, would end civilization. The third option, the only option left, is universal morality. And the absolute truth that teaches universal morality can only be found outside of us, in divine revelation. It would make sense for us to once again revisit such an option at a time like this.

Since universal truth is, by definition, timeless, it is unchanging. This is why Jesus, thousands of years after Creation, can reaffirm God’s design for human sexuality:

“Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” Matt. 19:4-6

Moving back to that paradigm WOULD CAUSE LESS HURT. No more pornography. No more hookups. No more cohabitation. No more infidelity. I guarantee we’d be happier, healthier, and more satisfied. We’d hurt less.

But renewed effort, redirected goals, and godly guidelines won’t atone for our mistakes. For that we also need divine intervention.

So, for all who have been hurt by the slavery packaged as “sexual liberation,” the Bible also has a wealth of comfort.

Amazingly, God himself also knows exactly what it’s like to be hurt by sexual unfaithfulness. He knows what it’s like to be a victim of another person’s sexual misconduct. God even specifically had his prophet Hosea take a cheating wife, Gomer, to illustrate to his people that he knew what it was like to be devastated by (spiritual) philandering.

When the Lord began to speak through Hosea, the Lord said to him, “Go, marry a promiscuous woman and have children with her, for like an adulterous wife this land is guilty of unfaithfulness to the Lord.” Hosea 1:2

We have a God who has been cheated on. And he has all the power in the universe at his disposal to heal us of our wounds and free us from our slavery. He also has enough love to pay the price to separate our sins of unfaithfulness from us, as far as the east is from the west (Psalm 103:12).

Now he guides us to a more beautiful design for human sexuality.

What would it look like if we all really believed that?

The Safest Place

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I attended a conference earlier this year and heard a presentation from Elyse Fitzpatrick, a Christian counselor and author, who has been counseling for more than 50 years. During a Q&A following her presentation, she was asked what progress she has seen the Christian church make over the last 50 years in the field of counseling.

She answered, “One place I think we’ve seen a lot of progress is in caring for women who are in abusive relationships. I think it’s a good thing, and we’re finally doing that better. We don’t really get it yet, but I think that people are trying to do a better job caring for women who are in abusive relationships, whereas let’s say 15 years ago people would say, ‘Oh you’re having trouble with your husband, it’s because you need to submit more.’ I trust that that’s changing. I think I see a push for that.”

The pastor interviewing her then asked, “You’ve done a ton of counseling over the years. Was that a common response?” She replied, “Yeah, very common. Over and over, yes. And I’ll be honest, you know, there was – I’m trying to think carefully – I don’t think I saw the way abuse, I don’t think I saw it in Christian marriages the way I see it now.” The interviewer asked, “Can you expand on that? How do you see it now?”

Fitzpatrick answered, “I think a lot of what passes for the way that women, Christian women, are told to be in their marriages, I think that that gives birth to or weight to really abusive relationships.”

The interviewer then asked what she meant by that, so she gave the example of a man who has a problem with pornography and said, “And that’s not like so unusual, like 65% of men in the church say that they view porn more than once a month.”

“So, a woman comes in and she says, ‘My husband’s got this porn thing happening.’ And she’s told, ‘Well, you know, if you’d lose 15 pounds…’”

The pastor asked, “So that’s the counsel people are getting?” “Uh, yeah,” she answered, “You know, be more sexually available, because his sin is your fault. See, women are saying ‘yeah’? [referencing women in attendance who were vocalizing their validation of what she was describing] Because that’s a true thing that women are told…”

“‘Your husband has a problem with pornography, because you don’t want, you’re not sexually available to him all the time. Your husband gets angry with you because you’re not submitting enough.’”

It was my favorite moment of the three-day conference. I share the story, because too often I hear from pastors that what she describes is rare. But the testimonies I hear from women who reach out through the Conquerors through Christ website tell me that this experience is not rare.

According to Barna Research, 68% of church-going men seek out online pornography at least once per month, as well as about a third of church-going women. WELS is not immune to these stats.

I have heard from and about too many of our sisters in Christ who say the counsel they received from their WELS pastor was to be more sexually active, more sexually available, and more sexually willing. This essentially downplayed their husbands’ adulterous activity. They were told that their husband’s porn problem is, at least in part, their fault. While it is good that we have compassion for a man addicted to pornography, we cannot let that cause a lack of compassion for the woman who is left feeling unloved, unseen, and unvalued because of his addiction.

Let us not misapply Ephesians 5:22 and ask women to submit to their husbands’ sin. 1 Corinthians 7:4 does not give a man the right to objectify his wife as he attempts to excite himself by acting out a fiction he has seen. We need to recognize that the majority of the people in our congregations are either addicted to pornography, married to someone who is, or raising someone who is. This experience is sadly commonplace, and perhaps the reason we don’t realize it is we have shown ourselves to be dismissive of the struggle many women in particular face around this issue.

Pastors need to trust women. When a woman comes to her pastor and tells him that she knows her husband is actively viewing porn, the pastor needs to not only trust everything she says as true, but the pastor also needs to recognize that what she is doing is very difficult for her to do. She has finally brought herself to tell her pastor because she trusts him, and she needs help. God has particularly wired women for meaningful relationships, and in that moment, many of her meaningful relationships are threatened! Women who are hurting like this are part of our body as the church and we need to listen to every part of our body.

When a woman does the hard thing of telling her pastor about an issue that pains her, she needs a pastor who tells her that she’s not alone, she’s not the only one, and there is hope.

When a woman does the hard thing of telling her pastor about an issue that pains her, she needs a pastor who tells her that she’s not alone, she’s not the only one, and there is hope. Yes, there will be a time to work through forgiving her spouse and rebuilding trust, and maybe, God-willing, re-establishing intimacy. But that will take time, and it cannot be our first word to women who have been sinned against by the porn use of their husband.

Jesus says that the merciful will receive mercy, but first he says that those who mourn will be comforted. (Matt 5:4,7)

Let’s lead with comfort, brother pastors, and continue to remind our wounded sisters in Christ that in all our days of faithlessness, our faithful Husband, the Lord Jesus, holds on to us. He enables us to stand. He has already forgiven all our lovelessness.

Jesus perfectly loved his spouse (the Church) and that’s our record.

The Holy Spirit continues to enable us to walk this road and causes us to remember how he has loved us. He is faithful. We are not. But he loves us faithfully in spite of the weakness of our love. That’s good news and it’s the only news that will enable her to love and forgive her spouse, a fellow sinner, as he walks toward truth with her.

Loving and forgiving her spouse does not mean she needs to stay married. Maybe she will, and that can be great. But first, he needs to stop, and he needs help. In fact, stating that fact is the first step in helping that sister begin to show mercy. Only when his behavior is called out as the sin that it is can her heart be softened by Jesus’ love for her. Only when she hears that her Savior is on her side can she begin to see Him as an ally and stand with Him to forgive her husband.

Brad Snyder is a pastor in Boise, Idaho and serves as the chairman for Conquerors through Christ.

American Made, Globally Played

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Sixty seven countries speak English as their official language. Despite the official agreement on that count, many of them have dialects and accents that make it difficult for some from the United States to understand them. But inversely, almost every English speaker understands a North American accent. Sure, there may be some confusion with idioms and turns of phrase, but on the whole the message gets across. A lot of messages get across. Why is this? Everyone watches TV shows from the U.S., everyone sees movies from the U.S., and yes, everyone watches porn from the U.S. Granted, “everyone” is an exaggeration. But the United States is an unparalleled media content creator with global influence. This means that aspects of U.S. culture are being broadcast to the world, and not all of them are beneficial.

Among these is the trivialization of sexuality that is present in many shows and movies. Name a popular sitcom, late night show, or drama series, and it is sure to include lewd jokes, contempt for a biblical view of sex, and approval for worldly ways of interacting with sexual desires. The internet allows these ideas to make their way all over the globe, including to countries that still hold more traditional views of marriage and sex. For better or worse, what the U.S. is doing impacts far more people than just its residents. The Daily Mail reported that the United States produces 60% of the world’s pornography. While this number is from a decade ago, the growth in the industry cataloged by IbisWorld displays a steady increase since then. Aided by a jump during the COVID-19 pandemic, the industry is now worth over a billion dollars annually.

To make this more concrete, the percentage of the world that has consistent access to clean water is just a little higher than those who have access to the internet. Online porn is almost as easy to get globally as a glass of potable water.

What can we take away from this? Perhaps a little bit of perspective. Despite what the older generations may lament and what we may see in media, the U.S. is not uniquely struggling with a problem of sexual depravity. Pornography is a sin problem, not an isolated social result of a secularizing culture. And sin can be found wherever we look in this world. Porn consumption is not as much a matter of acceptance as of availability. Where it can be watched, it will be. This is one of the biggest downsides of the internet; vast amounts of immoral material are available to anyone with an internet connection and mobile device.

I am not saying this to make the situation seem hopeless, to shame ‘those people,’ or to discourage the members of the body of Christ who are involved in this fight. I’m saying it to lead us to realize that it is a fight! To the death.That every one of us participates in. Paul in his letter to the church in Rome says, “For if you live according to the flesh, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live.” Every day in the life of a Christian is a fight to put to death the desires of our sinful flesh. And since the fall into sin when the first married couple, Adam and Eve, looked at each other’s nakedness and felt shame, sexual sins have been among the most pervasive. This goes beyond just physical action, as Jesus explained. To even look with lust at someone is to break the sixth commandment. As one of my professors put it, “The Devil wants you to think that there is an acceptable margin of error as you live your Christian life. There isn’t.” Millions of people, millions of Christians, find themselves in this imaginary margin with their porn use.

Prepare yourself for battle. The fight against pornography is difficult. You may be tempted to stay in the lie of that margin. It’s a comfortable place to be, but is also a soul-endangering place to be. Jesus had some strong illustrations about the danger of sin. Better to lose a hand than sin and lose heaven. But he also provides the most loving and welcoming place to those who want to escape their sins. “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”

For this reason the crucial first step to freedom from porn is confession. But it is incredibly hard to do. All of our sinful flesh and the hordes of hell scream at us to remain unseen in the margin. But may God give us all strength not to stay there, whatever the sin that keeps us there. Confession will not be the end of the struggle, but it is certainly the beginning of the end. We all must daily put to death our sinful flesh. That is why confiding in a trusted Christian friend, family member, or pastor is so important for breaking addiction to sin. They can provide accountability day by day, redirection when we fall, and heap on the message of God’s overflowing forgiveness and boundless grace. Brothers and sisters, do not live in the margin. Flee the sinfulness of the flesh. Run to Christ, who gave his life for the sins of the whole world, which includes you.

Jonas Landwehr is a first year student at Wisconsin Lutheran Seminary.

You Are Forgiven

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Doug was a middle-aged man with all he could ask for. He had a wonderful wife, three charming kids, and a solid job. He was a regular attender of church services and served on a few boards. The congregation knew him as a backbone of many projects and plans. If you needed someone, whether it was to fix your car or give you emotional support, Doug was your man. But Doug struggled with lust. He had a wandering eye. He knew it was wrong–he had a wife! No matter how hard he tried, he kept on feeling more and more guilty…

Katherine was a high honors college student, on her way to becoming valedictorian. She participated in two sports and volunteered her free time in a program to help those with special needs. She was by no means the most popular girl in the class, but everyone who spent time with her enjoyed her company. But Katherine struggled with porn. Sure, she kept it a secret, and that made it even worse. She felt like a fraud, because she looked so good on the outside but was filthy on the inside…

Stephen was the oldest member in his congregation. He was of a good age of seventy-eight, and was still blessed with excellent health–never been hospitalized in his life. He was everyone’s grandpa. That’s just what his personality was made for. But he was haunted by the one night back in high school when he and a girl took it a little too far…

Now, go back and consider those situations again. What if those stories weren’t about Doug, Katherine or Stephen….but about you?

Maybe those stories aren’t exactly your story, but if you’re someone who has ever struggled with sexual sin, you can relate, can’t you? You feel the emotions, the guilt, the loneliness, the darkness. You are the one who struggles with lust. You are the one who can’t escape porn. You are the unmarried one who had sex that one night. You are.

Do you ever feel like David did when Nathan confronted him about his sin? David, the one after God’s own heart, lusted after Bathsheba, took her just to satisfy his sexual desire, and then tried all he could to keep it secret. The great king of Israel fell so low to become an adulterer, murderer, and liar. God sent Nathan to David, and after his story about the king, the poor man and his lamb, Nathan cried out to David, “You are the man!” (II Samuel 12:7). Immediately, he had a guilt-ridden conscience. Read Psalm 32 and you may see that in a few verses. Do you ever sense that accusing finger of God’s law pointed right at you like Nathan’s finger was pointed at David?

The Law completely destroys you. The Gospel builds you back up.

The Law completely destroys you. The Gospel builds you back up. Just like David, you confess, “I have sinned against the Lord” (II Samuel 12:13). And what Nathan said to David is just as true for you: “The Lord has taken away your sin.” God’s promise rings in the guilty heart: “he forgives wickedness and remembers sin no more” (Jeremiah 31:34). That’s what he promised. That’s why Christ suffered and died. To forgive your sin. To pay for it. To make you holy in God’s eyes.

That sin has been wiped completely away. It’s gone. But the consequences still linger–King David experienced that, too. He was graciously forgiven but that son born from his selfish sexual act died. I’m not in the position to break down all the things that still linger from your sin. I don’t know what they are. You might. But I am in the position to tell you that Christ has paid the price for your sin.

You were dead in your sin. You used to live in the ways of the world. You gratified the thoughts and desires of your sinful nature. You were by nature an object of God’s wrath. But because of his great love with which he loved us, God, rich in mercy, made you alive in Christ when you were dead in your sin. By grace you have been saved. You were dead. But now, you are alive. (Ephesians 2)

You are the one who is forgiven. I am the one who is forgiven. God’s love is great! The consequences of sin still linger in this world, but the ultimate punishment has been absorbed by God in Jesus.

In God’s eyes, your story isn’t a story of sexual sin, but of righteousness.

In God’s eyes, your story isn’t a story of sexual sin, but of righteousness. You are his loved son or daughter. So, count yourself differently.

Romans 6:10–11 says, “The death [Jesus] died, he died to sin once for all; but the life he lives, he lives to God. In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus.”

To “count yourselves” means to think about yourselves differently than what appears to be true on the outside. The consequences of sin say something, but that’s not who you are in Christ.

Be who he has made you to be!

Nathaniel Brauer is a first-year student at Wisconsin Lutheran Seminary.

Does Anything Really Matter? (The Bohemian Issue)

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“Nothing really matters to me.”

That line ends arguably the most unique and well-loved rock song of all time, Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody.” Interestingly, despite the popularity of the 1975 song, the term “Bohemian” hit its low in frequency of usage in the English language in 1980. Very few people, even those who know the song well, know what a “Bohemian” is. Do you?

Specific definitions vary, but that last lyric of the song does a pretty good job summing all of them up. A Bohemian is someone who lives with very little grounding in the real world. Nothing really matters to them.

Freddie Mercury was the quintessential example of a Bohemian. A man who found no grounding other than in the pleasure of wild living and the praise of man.

Over the past two and half years, we’ve seen the things that we thought could never change shown to be fragile. Who would have thought that the NBA and NHL would have shut down like they did? Who would have thought that international travel would slam on its brakes?

But sacred things, things that formed identity, things that grounded us, things that truly mattered were also halted: family gatherings, in-person school, and most importantly, the physical life of the Church in the gathering of believers around God’s Word and the reception of the Lord’s Supper.

As one pastor put it, “When people see that even the things that matter most aren’t truly sacred, why would we expect them to take anything seriously?”

This isn’t an article about how churches, schools, or families react to COVID. This is an article to acknowledge that this is the world the young Christians of our world live in today, a world that, by no fault of their own, has “bohemianized” them (if I may make up a term). If you’re older you may not feel it the same way. Much of your life and identity has already been set, and as things went back to a form of normal, you could too. But for young people who are growing into who they are, a foundation is necessary. For about 2 years, the world robbed them of that. It told them that “nothing really matters.”

While most young people don’t have the resources to behave like Freddie Mercury, they do have cheap alternatives, one of the cheapest, most easily accessible, most addicting, and most destructive being pornography.

When “nothing really matters,” who cares if I watch this? Who cares if people get hurt? Who cares if it messes with my brain chemistry? Who cares if ruins my relationships with the opposite sex?

This may be hard for some to believe, but this is the fight we engage in now. We fight not just to help those struggling with pornography, but also to help those who are trapped in porn’s grip to see that this really does matter.

Psalm 144 feels this. It begins by acknowledging that from an earthly perspective, human life isn’t that significant.

LORD, what are human beings that you care for them, mere mortals that you think of them? They are like a breath; their days are like a fleeting shadow. (Psalm 144:4–4 NIV)

If this is all we are, then nothing really matters, but then the Psalm continues…

Part your heavens, LORD, and come down. (Psalm 144:5 NIV)

And God did. God came down into the womb of the Virgin Mary to show humanity that their life really does matter, that they really do matter.

And the result? The psalmist records that when the Lord comes down…

Then our sons in their youth will be like well-nurtured plants, and our daughters will be like pillars carved to adorn a palace. (Psalm 144:12 NIV)

You matter enough to God that he would become human to save you. He wants to grow and shape you into something beautiful.

Today, pray Psalm 144 for our young people. Pray that God would continue to come to them in Word and Sacrament to grow them and shape them into people who give glory to God by their lives. If you feel a little like a Bohemian, pray that God would make you believe that this really does matter. And finally, pray for Conquerors through Christ, that we can help more people see that this fight really matters.

Caleb Schultz is the Content Editor for Conquerors through Christ. He serves as a pastor in a suburb of Toronto, Canada.

Idol of Love

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Does Love Conquer All?

“Love Conquers All” is one of those phrases that people think belongs to the Bible that doesn’t really belong to the Bible. It belongs to a classical Roman poet by the name of Virgil, taken from book X of his Eclogues. It was written nearly 100 years before any of the New Testament was recorded. Like most powerful false beliefs, there is an element of truth in it. But ultimately, no, human love cannot solve all of our problems. Nonetheless, millions of us pursue it as though it has such power.

Many are controlled by the quest for romantic love. Have you met the young woman who simply cannot stand to be single because her personal value is so wrapped up in her association to and acceptance from a man? Have you met the woman who is so bitter and jaded regarding men that she has sworn off them altogether and will take any chance that she gets to tell you how they’re “good for nothing”? In different ways, both of these women show that their lives are controlled by the power of romantic love. Have you heard of the man who is such a chicken when it comes to intimacy and so selfish when it comes to pleasure that his most desired way to interact with women is behind closed doors through pornography? Have you met the man who has no desire to lead his family but idly sits back and sheepishly makes most decisions in his life simply with the goal of not upsetting his wife? In different ways, both of these men are controlled by the power of romantic love. I intentionally chose these examples so that you could see that not only on the extreme ends of aggressive dominance or passive neediness, but virtually everywhere in between, humans are inclined to do what they do so that they can somehow fill that gaping hole inside of them that seems to be crying out for intimacy and love. As the irreverently insightful 21st century sociologist and pop diva Ke$ha has noted, many live by the motto “Your Love is My Drug.” (I think I probably just ruined the word “insightful.”)

Jacob’s Quest for Love

There is an edgy, painful Old Testament account that quite clearly shows the futility of holding up romantic love as the answer to your problems. It is found in Genesis 29. Jacob, the son of Isaac and Rebekah, has stolen the birthright of his brother Esau. Why would he do such a thing, stealing from his brother by deceiving his father? Jacob wanted a piece of his father that his father wouldn’t give him….love. Isaac had favored Esau, the older, more manly of the two sons. The Bible says that “Isaac, who had a taste for wild game, loved Esau, but Rebekah loved Jacob.” (Gen 25:28) Jacob thought that if he could only get that birthright, then maybe he could quiet the inner demons that had convinced him he was unworthy of his father’s love and therefore worthless. So he got the birthright by any means necessary. And now his older brother was furious. Fearing the vengeance of Esau, Jacob fled from his home in Beersheba to the location of his Uncle Laban in Paddan Aram.

When Jacob got to Paddan Aram, he went to the region’s local watering hole (apparently the place where desperate singles went looking for companionship even then). While at the well, Jacob, for the first time, laid his eyes on the woman that he’d fall head over heels for, Laban’s daughter Rachel. This was the woman, so he thought, that would fill the void inside of him left by the absence of his father’s love. Just look at the reaction he has at first meeting: “When Jacob saw Rachel…(he) kissed Rachel and began to weep aloud.” (Gen 29:10-11) He’s lovesick. He must have her. Jacob goes to work for Laban (Rachel’s father) as a shepherd. Laban recognizes that even though Jacob is his family, he still deserves to be paid, so he asks Jacob what his price for labor is. Jacob responds, “I’ll work for you seven years in return for your younger daughter Rachel.” (Gen 29:18) Just so we’re clear here, in ancient cultures, this type of bride-price dowry would have been fairly customary. However, this specific amount was enormous. It’s obvious that Jacob wants Rachel. He wants her badly, and Laban knows it.

Upon completion of his seven years of labor, Jacob goes to Laban and demands marriage to Rachel. But look at his language. He sounds like an addict in need of a fix, which wasn’t that far from the truth. He says, “Give me my wife. My time is completed, and I want to make love to her.” (Gen 29:21) Bible commentators will tell you that the words that Jacob speaks here are unusually coarse and carnal, but that should be obvious. Remember, he’s basically saying to Rachel’s father, “I need to have sex with your daughter right now!”

Laban agreed to make the wedding happen. They celebrated a grand feast, complete with ample adult beverages. At that time, brides were veiled until the consummation of the marriage. So, perhaps with the combination of a veil, the dim night light, and a couple too many drinks, Jacob failed to recognize that Uncle Laban had pulled the old switcheroo on him – he had substituted his older daughter Leah in the wedding ceremony for the one Jacob had loved, Rachel. And in the morning light, Jacob was just now realizing that he had spent his first night with his wife, but his wife was not Rachel.

It’s worth noting the Bible’s comparison between the two daughters of Laban. Genesis 29:17 says that “Leah had weak eyes, but Rachel had a lovely figure and was beautiful.” Scholars have debated exactly what it meant that Leah’s eyes were “weak.” Some have suggested that perhaps she had bad eyesight. But if that was the case, the text would likely say that Leah had weak eyes, but Rachel had very strong eyes. No, the contrast here is between Rachel’s tremendous beauty and Leah’s “weak eyes,” which leads us to assume that the phrase “weak eyes” is describing Leah as having an unattractive appearance. What’s abundantly apparent is that Rachel is a hottie and Leah is unfortunately a nottie. Jacob had fallen for Rachel and become obsessed with possessing her because of her great beauty.

Disappointed by Love

Understandably, Jacob is furious to find out that Laban had duped him into taking the wrong daughter as his bride. He confronted Laban about it. Laban offered up a lame excuse about how it’s not customary in his land to give away the younger daughter before the older daughter. So, Laban is to blame for being shady. However, Jacob shares the blame here as well for letting his hormones and obsession blind his good judgment. When he’d first asked Laban to marry Rachel, Laban never actually said “Yes.” He said, “It’s better that I give her to you than to some other man. Stay here with me.” (Gen 29:19) That’s it. Perhaps Jacob would have picked up on Laban’s shadiness about the situation had he not been so obsessed with making a good thing (Rachel’s beauty) the ultimate thing (an idol) that he thought could cure his inner hurt.

By the way, if you’re wondering, men still try to do this with female beauty today as well. Old men dump their wives in favor of younger women because they think such romantic love will make them young again. Young men try to sleep with as many women as possible, simply because they’re trying to use such “romance” to validate their own prowess and power. Sleazy, right? Jacob using female beauty to try to solve his problems was a little sleazy. In that sense, men today are a little sleazy as well. But the truth is that every man who thinks that he can validate himself through sex, thinks he’s going to bed with Rachel, but wakes up realizing it’s Leah. What I mean is this – many men think that sleeping with a hot chick sounds like a good idea at the time, but the next morning, the guilt, regret, shame, and the weight of long-term emotional damage to two lives sets in. In general, romantic love & unbridled passion, if it truly is your god, will not solve your problems, it will destroy your life.

I don’t mean for this analogy to sound callous to Leah. But we have to be honest about the situation. Jacob didn’t truly love her. God was sympathetic to Leah about this as well, which is why he opened her womb while he closed Rachel’s. You see, the story continues as Jacob worked another seven years for Laban to receive Rachel as his wife, creating the most awkward of marital situations – two wives competing for their husband’s affection. In fact, in the next chapter of Genesis, the two women trade “who gets to sleep with Jacob tonight” for some mandrakes – what kind of messed up life is this! (Interestingly, both women valued these mandrakes so much because in ancient cultures, mandrakes were viewed as both an aphrodisiac, which Leah thought might help Jacob become more attracted to her, and as a fertility boost, which Rachel thought might help her conceive, causing Jacob to appreciate her more). Both were absolutely desperate for his love.

Obviously crushed by Jacob’s rejection of her in favor of her sister’s beauty, Leah rejoices when she first becomes pregnant by Jacob. Look at what she says, “It is because the LORD has seen my misery. Surely my husband will love me now.” (Gen 29:32) You see, romantic love controlled her life as much as it had controlled Jacob’s. She had a void inside of her that was caused by someone who was supposed to love her (her husband) not loving her. And now her desire for children is for all the wrong reasons. Leah becomes pregnant twice more with the hope that it will force Jacob to love her. Finally, when she conceives her fourth son, Leah gets it. Leah, who has reached rock bottom in trying to make romantic love answer her life problems, has a fourth son named Judah, and she says about him, “This time I will praise the LORD.” (Gen 29:35). After all this time, Leah now discovered that only the LORD can truly fill the void for love inside of us. Romance cannot. And if we believe all the Hugh Grant movies and Celine Dion anthems that tell us it can, then romantic love has become an idol for us, and it will be a curse in our lives, not a blessing.

Romantic, physical, intimate love is a beautiful thing. When used properly, it is seen as the great blessing from God that it is. I’m not suggesting otherwise. But it’s not the greatest thing.

Truly Fulfilling Love

The only one who can truly fill the inner void left by those who didn’t love us as they should have is Jesus. And fascinatingly, in the godly sense, Jesus descended from heaven, and in the worldly sense, he descended from the womb of…..Leah. Yes, he was the scepter who would come through her son Judah (Isaiah 49:10). No one knew rejection of earthly love like he did. Physical romance was not even part of his life, because the bride that he’d be coming back for was his Church. And yet he suffered and died to pay for all of the times we’ve mistakenly thought that human love would conquer all.

For those who have lived a single and celibate life, heaven holds an intimacy for you that far surpasses any moments of pleasure from this world.

For those who have been unloved by those who should have loved you, heaven holds for you a feeling of absolute completion, satisfaction, and unity that the missed love of your father, mother, ex-husband, ex-wife, ex-boyfriend, or ex-girlfriend never could have offered you anyway.

And for all of us, in this lifetime, sometimes, by God’s grace through the relationships that God blesses us with, we catch glimpses of what love really is. In heaven, we’ll know it so well that we can’t help but praise the LORD.

Thanks to author Pastor James Hein of St. Marcus Lutheran Church in Milwaukee, WI. This article is adapted from content that originally appeared on “Crossing my mind. Mind on the cross.” pastorjameshein.wordpress.com

Sex and the City

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In the late 90s, HBO started becoming perceived as less of simply a cable video store as it started producing more of its own original content. Some of Hollywood’s talented younger writers, directors, and producers saw in the premium channel less restriction from Standards and Practices censorship and more creative license for their product. Consequently, HBO started producing edgy, highly acclaimed original series such as The Sopranos, Oz, and a critical darling targeted at young women called Sex and the City.

In many ways, SATC was considered a knockoff of an earlier network sitcom called The Golden Girls, which was only able to get away with half of its content because people considered little old ladies talking about sex as cute, quirky, and harmless enough.

The show follows a New York City writer named Carrie Bradshaw. Carrie is also the show’s narrator, and every episode is structured around an article she happens to be writing that week for a relationship column in a New York newspaper.

While in the 80s, a weekly show like Sex and the City, starring mostly women, addressing the content matter that it did, would have most likely been considered nearly unconscionable by the collective American public. But by the late 90s, it was met with great critical and consumer fanfare. In its six-season span, the show collected 54 Emmy nominations, 24 Golden Globe nominations, and 11 Screen Actors Guild nominations. Despite all its accolades, many Christians have denounced the overtly lewd and immoral content of the show. They’re not wrong, but we can still learn something from the influence of Sex and the City. The show is another painful reminder that Hollywood beat the church to the punch on the important issue of talking about sex. The Christian Church, by and large, shied away from openly and honestly addressing the delicate issue of sexuality for years and years and years. Sex and the City wasn’t shy at all. And while there is such a thing as an inappropriate fascination with the topic, it’s preposterous to have young people learning about sex primarily from locker rooms, or the internet, or TV, especially when you consider how much it’s on the minds of sexually maturing human beings.

GOD is the one who created humans to be sexual beings. Yes, God invented sex! God even inspired nearly an entire book of the Bible to be recorded about it – you know that one that remains virtually unstudied in most Bibles – Song of Songs? If we as Christian leaders and parents don’t have the courage to address difficult topics with young people who are naturally going to be curious, there eventually going to be instructed by someone (or some show) that shapes their understanding of what exactly is sexually “normal” and “healthy.” What will curious Christians conclude about sex from Game of Thrones, or from Ozark, or from Euphoria? They’re drawing a lot more conclusions from TV when mature Christians are silent about sex.

What was “magical” about Sex and the City?

Even apart from the risqué content of the show, from what I’ve seen, I found the show virtually unwatchable because of the main character’s notorious overuse of “puns” – the lowest, most groan-inducing form of humor I can imagine. The show is littered with them. My personal preferences notwithstanding, the show was, and continues to be, enormously influential.

The show reflected on television what many women were experiencing in real life: extravagant fashion, having a gay best friend, having multiple boyfriends, occasional one-night stands, women working outside of the home, the glamour of Manhattan. Some of those are good for a professional woman; some are neutral; some are certainly unhelpful influences, but seeing these things visible in mass media has endeared SATC to millions of women.

Okay, so how has it influenced us…spiritually?

A primary influence is overt sexuality, especially female sexuality. The overt sexuality in Sex and the City is far from God’s design. One of my favorite biblical warnings about human sexuality is what the Apostle Paul says to the Ephesians, “But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality.” (Eph. 5:3) What was once “hinted at” on TV, SATC went ahead and told the whole secret.

When Paul writes to the Romans, he mentions the commonness of departure from God’s design for human sexuality amongst females as a benchmark for how far a society has fallen from God – “Even their women exchanged natural sexual relations for unnatural ones.” (Rom. 1:26)

For one reason or another, American media has historically presented women as more sexually virtuous than men. In the past, when Americans turned on the television they were accustomed to the male characters mentioning sex, pursuing sex, and feeling good about sex—even if it was immoral. (It’s not a great compliment to gentlemen.) Christians who strive for “not even a hint of sexual immorality” recognize stereotypes of male sexuality in media as problematic. In the past few decades, Hollywood has proposed a solution to that problem: They will portray female characters talking about sex, pursuing pleasure, and feeling good about sex—even if it’s immoral. Sex has always been part of God’s world for men and women alike, but a television show featuring women and their sexuality felt like something new for American media. SATC was part of a new era in which sexually liberated women on TV are just as far from God’s design for sex as the men on TV. It’s not hard to imagine some long-term implications for real life men and women.

To put it in other terms, a recent survey I was reading of 29,000 people at North American universities suggested that 51% of men spent up to five hours per week online for sexual purposes. The number of women in that category is 16%. Is the solution to that iniquity to help more women find sexual pleasure online? Maybe that’s the solution big porn companies want. Some women, the Sex and the City girls included, have taken the “may as well join them” attitude about sex. But that’s not the solution God wants. It’s also not what Christians want.

God’s solution is to satisfy the deep longings of every man’s heart and every woman’s not with a shallow click, or a temporary rush of dopamine, but with the unconditional approval of his grace-filled smile. God’s solution is to assure us that he will walk beside us as we navigate webs of temptation and he’ll bring support and forgiveness to every day. God’s solution is grace. God’s grace is what the Apostle Paul wrote about to his friend Titus, “For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people. It teaches us to say ‘No’ to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, while we wait for the blessed hope.” (Titus 2:11-12) That blessed hope of heaven and the grace of God that makes it possible is far superior to learning about sex from television shows.

God’s grace is unimaginably better than the good life as described on Sex and the City, or any other television show. But don’t wait for Hollywood to produce a show with the theme: “the grace of God teaches us to live godly lives.” Influencing the culture in that direction is our job.

I Am With You

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I am with you Six years ago, I was reading a book titled Becoming the Woman of His Dreams. One chapter tells the story of a wife finding out her husband is addicted to porn. I read about the forgiveness the wife had to give to her husband. When I put the book down, I asked my husband if he had ever looked at porn. He confessed that he had in high school. We talked a little about how he accessed porn and his thoughts on it. I asked him if he had ever watched it since. That’s when he stunned me. He was still addicted. In my mind, our marriage was solid. We shared everything. His addiction hit me like a ton of bricks.

I was hurt and frightened. I was pregnant with twins. What would porn do to our family, to our children? Thoughts of divorce ran through my mind.

I was angry. How could he do this to me? He was supposed to be a Christian! We were active in our church. How could he?

I felt ugly, so ugly. I felt used like I was merely an object. Tender memories changed. He used to come up from the computer (supposedly looking for a new car) extremely attracted to me. I found out it was the porn. “Was he just attracted to the porn? Am I pretty enough? What am I doing wrong? How can I be a better wife so he doesn’t want to look?”

Six years ago, I found out my husband was addicted to porn. Perhaps you are reading this, dear sister, because you found out that your husband is too. This may be one of the most arduous journeys in your marriage. You feel used, betrayed, ugly. You feel so dirty. I know this is hard.

God is with you right now, hun, his arms wrapped around you through your sobs, your anger, your fright.

Romans 8:38-39

You know about his addiction. That is the first step in his healing. I know you feel like leaving or getting back at him, hurting him like he’s hurt you. Be patient with him. He is on the path to recovery. It’s a hard path for him and for you.

As you traverse this journey, I want you to remember three things:

You are beautiful!

You are fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of God. You are his work of art! No matter what the devil tells you, no matter how you feel, God sees you, and he loves you. Because he loves you, you are lovely. You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you. Song of Songs 4:7

You are a good wife!

Through the power of our awesome God, you can love the unlovable. You can stick to the commitment you made to God and your husband on your wedding day. Your husband’s addiction is not your fault! Through this journey, you cannot hear that enough. It is not your fault. You are a good wife. He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord. Proverbs 18:22

This will be a fight, but not between you and your husband. Your husband is fighting against the devil for you! I know it seems like your husband is against you, but he is in this fight for you. The devil hates your marriage. He wants to use porn to destroy your love. But the devil won’t win. Your husband is fighting for you because you are worth it. A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Proverbs 31:10

Fighting porn is a long journey. Transformation doesn’t happen overnight. So focus on what God has equipped you to do. Focus on being the stellar wife that you are through the Holy Spirit. And as for your husband-respect him more, love him more powerfully, and take his addiction to our gracious God, the only ONE who can heal him. Your husband is on the path of rejecting and resisting porn – praise the Lord.

“Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.” Luke 15:6

Katrina Meinel is a Christian bride and mother of four. She is a member of Resurrection in Verona, WI.