Hiding Your Story Is Holding You Back

 

I used to believe that strength meant silence. Not because I thought I had it all together—but because I didn’t.

Maybe you’ve felt that too. Maybe you’ve felt like your sin—especially sexual sin—is what disqualifies you from talking, from leading, from being whole. But hiding your story doesn’t heal your shame. It preserves it. And it wasn’t until I started to tell the truth that I saw what God had been doing in it all along.

The Power of Being Seen—and Still Loved

I’ve talked to enough people to know this is more common than we let on. Some of you reading this are locked in a daily fight against pornography, sexual addiction, or a secret habit you swore you’d quit. Others of you carry wounds from someone else’s sin—betrayal, abuse, manipulation, or neglect. Some of you are exhausted because someone you love keeps running back into the same darkness, and you’re left holding the pieces. And there’s one lie Satan keeps selling to all of us: “You can’t tell anyone.”

But there is something terrifying and healing about being fully known. I’ll never forget the first time I told a friend that I was struggling with temptation and felt ashamed about things from my past. I expected pity or disappointment. Instead, I got a hug and a quiet word: “Me too.”

There’s a moment in John 4 where Jesus meets a Samaritan woman at a well. She’s had five husbands and is living with a sixth man. She’s coming to the well alone, in the heat of the day, because shame isolates. But Jesus meets her there. He speaks. He listens. He names her pain. And she runs back to town shouting, “Come see a man who told me everything I ever did!”

Not, “Come see a man who ignored my sin.” Not, “Come see a man who made me feel good.”  But: He saw me. And he didn’t run.

That’s the power of vulnerability.

It breaks the silence. It breathes. It invites others to look past the highlight reel and say, “Me too.” Her story echoes the apostle John, “Perfect LOVE is what drives out fear.” (1 John 4:18)

Why Your Story Isn’t Over—It’s Just Being Rewritten

Darkness will try to creep in when you tell your story. You may remember every reason why you stayed quiet: The moments you wish you could erase. The tears. The regret. The humiliation. But when God rewrites your story, he doesn’t delete the broken chapters. He redeems them.

I used to think I’d never be free from the shame I felt. Not just about things I did—but things I allowed. Things I failed to stop. Things that hurt others. I wondered if I could really be used by God. But over time, through confession, prayer, and people who refused to give up on me, I started to see something new: The cross of Christ doesn’t just forgive our sin. It reframes our entire story.

The Bible is filled with broken people whose stories don’t get erased—they get used.

We are not the sum of our worst moments. We are the sum of Christ’s righteousness, credited to us by grace. So if your story feels messy, welcome to the Bible. And welcome to the beautiful mystery of grace.

Why Telling Your Story Heals You (and Others Too)

There’s something deeply healing that happens when you go first. I’ve seen it again and again in my ministry. Someone stands up and tells the truth.

“I was addicted to porn.”

“I was unfaithful to my spouse.”

“I was molested.”

“I thought my worth was tied to my body.”

“I didn’t know how to say no.”

And suddenly, other people—who’ve been sitting in silence for years—start to breathe again. You see it in their eyes. Someone else said what they couldn’t. And now, maybe they can. Telling your story isn’t just therapy. It’s witness. It’s worship.

Revelation 12:11 says, “They triumphed over [Satan] by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony.” Not just by Jesus’ blood—but by the stories of people whose lives were changed because of that blood. Your story won’t save anyone. But it might lead them to the One who can.

Why Churches Must Be Safe Enough for Real Stories

Some of you aren’t hiding your story because you’re afraid of God. You’re hiding because of how Christians treated you. Maybe someone shamed you. Gossiped about you. Treated you like you were less than. Maybe a church leader failed to walk with you. Maybe you confessed, and instead of being led to grace, you were sent away.

I’m so sorry if that’s you. But that’s not Jesus. And it doesn’t have to be your future. Church should be the safest place in the world to tell the worst thing you’ve done. Not because sin is small—but because grace is bigger. I’m convinced we need more ministries, more small groups, more leaders, and more ordinary Christians who know how to listen with compassion and point people to the cross without flinching. We need churches that ask better questions, create real accountability, and walk patiently with sinners. Not every story needs to be told on stage. But every person should be able to say, “I’m not okay,” and know that they won’t be abandoned.

So… What’s Your Story?

You don’t have to start with a microphone. You don’t have to post it on the internet. But what if this month, you told one person the truth? What if you sat down with someone safe and said, “Can I tell you what I’ve been through?” Or, “Can I finally say out loud what I’ve been carrying?”

Or maybe, “Can I tell you what Jesus has done in my life—because it’s not just about me anymore.”

You never know who needs to hear that. I’ve had people come up after a sermon and say, “I thought I was the only one.” I’ve had family members thank me for saying what they couldn’t. I’ve had strangers open up because vulnerability breaks barriers. You don’t have to have a neat ending. You don’t have to pretend your healing is complete. You just need to be honest about who your Healer is.

Final Words: What You’ve Been Through Isn’t the End

What you’ve done—or what’s been done to you—doesn’t get the last word. Jesus does. If you’re battling sin right now, there is mercy.  If you’ve been betrayed, there is comfort. If your past still haunts you, there is healing. And if you’re afraid to tell your story, there is power waiting on the other side of your “yes.” I’m not perfect. But I’m not hiding. And maybe today is the day you stop hiding too. How? Because Jesus has you wrapped in his arms, and he won’t let you go. 

 

Jonny Lehmann is the lead pastor and instructor at Divine Savior Church in West Palm Beach, FL. 

 

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