FAMILY OR FRIEND
Helping someone to stop using porn
Helping someone to stop using porn
Reviews and Ratings
Recently the CtC team became aware of two sets of reviews of filtering software that can be helpful in the fight to preserve or restore godly sexuality.
Rejecting porn takes help both from God and from fellow Christians. But how do you help? How do you respond to a confession? This guidebook helps accountability or encouragement partners and small groups embrace the power of honesty, prioritize gospel responses, and create Christian environments filled with grace and truth.
“Feelings” are fickle because they come and go. We must ALWAYS go back to the cross, day in and day out, and there confess our sins and believe they are forgiven because God has said they are. There we can be confident in being pure again because God promises it is so. He assures us that we are washed “clean” in the blood of his Son shed on the cross for us. Remember God’s promise to you through Jeremiah in 31:34: “I will forgive their wickedness and remember their sins no more.” Remember what God promises in Romans 8:1: “Therefore there is now NO CONDEMNATION for those who are in Christ Jesus.” Other promises of God for us to remember are found in Isaiah 65:3, John 15:3, 1 Corinthians 6:11, Ephesians 5:26, Hebrews 9:14 and 1 John 1:7.
Talk to your friend about it. Tell the person why you suspect he or she might be viewing porn and make it clear you are concerned and want to help. Tell the person that he or she is forgiven through Christ. Recommend this website. Offer to be an accountability partner. Offer to help the person find the right people that can help him or her (pastors, Christian counselors, etc). Pray for your friend often.
Do not minimize or rationalize the sin. (If the person is in denial, help him or her understand how serious the sin is.) On the other hand, do not condemn the person. Do not act as if the sin is unforgiveable or worse than all other sins that God detests (pride, selfishness, etc.).
YES – Absolutely. Thank God if you are not addicted…but get help NOW before you are. Many do not even realize they have passed the point of addiciton. The scary thing about porn is that it attacks your brain and changes the way you think and act. The “thrill” you get from watching porn becomes ingrained in the brain and makes you always want more. Counselors tell us that because of the easy availability and frequency of use, this is one of the hardest addictions to break. Like other highly addicitive substances, porn viewing has other highly damaging consequences, such as:
Please talk to your pastor or a good Christian counselor about getting help before you do become addicted.
You know what you need to know to offer the person forgiveness. Do that as you would for any sin. But because of the nature of this addiction, it is highly recommended that you refer him or her to a good Christian counselor who specializes in porn addiction. This will offer the person the best chance for recovery from the addiction. But you will likely still need to be the primary individual there to help your member with day-to-day spiritual doubts and struggles.
If you mean fantasizing (dreaming) about engaging in sex with someone you’re not married to, then those thoughts would dishonor marriage and God (Hebrews 13:4). This is not who God made you to be. God calls all people to believe in his Son as their Savior. When the Holy Spirit creates that saving faith in your heart, you become a temple of the Holy Spirit, which will compel you to honor God with their whole being—mind, soul and body. So yes, it is sin – but it is also a sin Jesus paid the price to forgive.
As a friend or a family member trying to help someone you care about escape pornography use, it may be helpful to learn about the other resources we provide to help the person struggling to Reject Satan’s lies (Myself page). You may also wish to be an ally for a spouse or significant other who has been hurt by the actions of the porn user. We recommend you learn about the resources to help that person Recover from the wreckage of porn use on the Spouse of Significant Other page.