Mending a Shattered Heart
By Stefanie Carnes
Publishing Information: Gentle Path Press, Carefree, AZ 2011
Reviewer: Elsa Manthey
Review Date: April 2015
If your world has been turned upside down and your heart shattered from finding out that your loved one, whom you have trusted, has lied and deceived you and is suffering from sex-addiction, this book was written with you in mind. The collection of writings from various authors who wrote this book seek to help you as you work through the questions and confusion you must be feeling.
Concentrate on what you need to know and leave the rest.
The book is divided into two parts. Part One, “For All Partner of Sex Addicts,” addresses eight questions, the answers to which are “intended to support you as you begin to learn about sex addiction and what your options are as a partner of a sex addict.”
Part Two, “Specific Situations,” contains “specific information about sex addiction based on your particular situations. Not every chapter will apply to you. Concentrate on what you need to know and leave the rest.” Examples of material in this section are (9) What you would choose to tell the kids depending on their age; (10) What if my partner shows an interest in minors; (12) Straight guise; and (14) Can we make it as a couple?
This book does not seek to give spiritual direction. Its reference to the twelve step model with the term “spiritual awakening” does not refer to Christ and the work of the Holy Spirit but returning to the “core integrity” of the person. The book presents sex addiction as a disease and does not address sin.
The appendix of the book includes “The Twelve Steps Sex Addicts Anonymous,” “Resource Guide,” “Recommended Reading,” “Notes on each chapter,” and “Biographical Sketches of the Authors.”
Personally, I would recommend the book to a counselor, pastor, or person well-grounded in the Christian faith as a resource since the book does address questions a person may have that I might not even think of. The authors do suggest ways to approach and discuss the problem of addiction. The importance of sin and grace need to be added. The support of God’s grace and forgiveness is the only way to mend the shattered heart.