Entries by CtC

How long will this anger last?

No one can tell you how long the anger will last. It may be weeks or months, and hopefully not longer.  There will be times throughout the first year – maybe even into the second – when anger will return when a phrase, a smell, a person, or a sound trigger the painful memories. If […]

To whom can I talk for support (and should I talk to others or keep silent)?

Be somewhat careful about opening up. We recommend that you do not to open up to all your friends and family.  Some will be supportive, some will struggle to understand – and some may be very critical of you or your spouse. Speak with a counselor. Find a support group like COSA, AL-ANON or S-ANON. […]

Should I serve as my spouse’s encourager/accountability partner?

No, you should not.  Your role is to be something different than their police officer, parent, or guard rail.  They need someone who understands addiction; someone who has been there and is working recovery.  It is also beneficial if the encourager/accountability partner is the same gender.

What is my responsibility in my spouse’s recovery?

Your job is your recovery. You cannot recover for someone else. Pestering or pressuring someone to recover will not work. Cooperation and teamwork are valuable because they give responsibility to all parties involved. For your personal recovery, focus on your vocations. Be the family member, church member, and member of society that God made you […]

Exactly what is a porn (sexual) addiction?

Porn and sex addiction take place when a person has taken him/herself out of the context of right and wrong, losing control and the power of choice. It includes lust, in any form, and sex in any form, including sex with oneself.  

How do I connect with others who have gone through this?

First of all, even when it feels like you are, you are never alone – Christ is always with you. He promises to never leave or forsake you. Next, find a counselor to talk with, preferably one who is familiar with sex/porn addiction. Use the internet to find one (Conquerors through Christ has a list […]