Stop Fighting Porn
What if I told you that one of the best ways to beat porn is to fight a different battle?
In 1996, a raw talent burst into the NBA right out of high school. Kobe Bryant was touted as a generational talent. Of course, today, we know that turned out to be true, but back in 1996, coaches noticed something that could have derailed the one who was so well known for his last-second killer instinct that he was called “Black Mamba.”
Early in his career, in crunch time, at the end of games, when his body was tired, Kobe defaulted to dribbling with his right hand. While such a tendency doesn’t make much difference in high school, at the NBA level, any tendency is liable to be exploited by video coaches. Kobe became predictable in the final moments of games. Today, we associate Kobe with last-second game-winners. But early in his career, he was a liability when the clock was ticking down.
So, Kobe, with his signature determination, was not going to let this stop him. He dedicated himself to becoming ambidextrous, just as confident with his left hand as with his right. He went about it in normal ways…dribbling drills with the left hand, layups with his left hand, and so on. But in typical Kobe fashion, that wasn’t enough. Kobe started doing everything with his left hand. He brushed his teeth, ate his food, opened doors, and got dressed using his left hand. He knew that even the most non-basketball motions done with his left hand would prepare his mind to be comfortable on the court when it mattered most.
When it matters, be ready!
If you are reading this at the time it is published, it is Lent for the Christian Church. One of the common practices of this season is to fast. Christians have done this for centuries…for the exact same reason Kobe brushed his teeth with his left hand.
See, Kobe did things the correct way when it didn’t matter, so that when it did matter, he was ready. Christians have done the same. Fasting from food (or other substances or behaviours) is practicing doing the right thing when it doesn’t matter so you will be ready when it does matter. See, if you fast from food, and an Apple Fritter gets the better of you (as it would to any red-blooded human), you have not sinned. But the practice of saying no to that beautiful, soft, sweet Fritter is the same muscle that you use to not turn on Incognito Mode.
My suggestion to you is that the way to beat porn is to stop trying to beat porn. How do many of us fight that fight? Like we’re Kobe with 3 seconds on the clock. It’s 11:47pm. Your wife is in bed. Your phone is in your hand. You’re tired and stressed from the day. Hear this with the pun intended… You’re going to go to your right hand.
But what if you have practiced saying no to doughnuts, your morning dark roast, an IPA, or exchanged your hot morning shower for a cold one? Could you strengthen the muscle to say no?
Saying “no” doesn’t come from willpower, but routine.
Scripture supports this. Paul tells us that “[The grace of God] teaches us to say ‘no’ to ungodly and worldly passions.” (Titus 2:12) This doesn’t happen overnight. Teaching takes time and practice. Saying “no” doesn’t come from willpower, but routine.
Jesus did this. If your church reads from the lectionary, the first Sunday in Lent is the account of Jesus’ temptation in the wilderness. Before Satan comes to Jesus, what does Jesus do? He spends 40 days fasting. Why? Because he was preparing. When Satan came with his temptations, Jesus responded with the same ease of Kobe knocking down a free throw. He was ready. He didn’t ask the angels to role-play with him. He didn’t make sure there were no stones around so he wouldn’t be tempted to make bread. He just got ready.
Maybe by the time you read this, it’s too late to start a Lenten fast. But it’s not too late to start fighting porn a different way. What if you put practices in place in your life to say “no” so that when crunch time comes, you’re ready? What if it was no alcohol for a month? What if it was that the phone goes off after dinner? What if you took cold showers? What if you woke up at the same time every day, no matter how long you stayed up the night before. What if you didn’t turn a podcast or the sports radio show on in the car, but you sat in silence and prayed?
If you fail at any of those, you have not sinned. But if you succeed, you prepare for those moments when it matters.
Caleb Schultz is a pastor in the Greater Toronto Area, where he lives with his wife and four kids. He is the Content Editor for Conquerors through Christ.